Good. I was naked most of the night. But sometimes I would wear my tux vest...But only my tux vest. It was classy
he asked me what things i liked that he did in bed, and i told him all the things i hated so he would use it on that new bitch and she wouldnt hook up with him anymore.
you for real need to get over him dude
I'm not really sure how I got home, but judging by this headache, i'm assuming it involved bourbon.
On a scale of one to Chris Brown, how angry are you?
note to self... there IS such a thing as having too many birthday shots...
So the next morning, she had to tell her kids we were moving furniture around all night.
in the past 3 nights i've fucked a millionaire, a drug dealer and a civil engineer... i dont really have a "type" anymore
"can of pringles" is totally a legitimate measure of time
Saturday evening, however, will be my vodka and bubble wrap extravaganza.
I told him I'd go cook him breakfast, but ended up passing out on the kitchen floor in the fetal position spooning the dog
You have a roommate and cry when you see my dick
Just had a threesome with a hot Turkish guy and an even hotter French lawyer. This what happens when I travel alone. You have only yourself to blame for this.
Not my fault people bought me shots. waving a shot in my face is like waving a cock in yours
I told you I couldn't sleep because of the speed and you rolled over and replied "shh. just pretend."
DO NOT FUCK YOUR ENGAGED GAY NEIGHBOR!
Randomize
