Yeah unless I can find some idiot to make love to
there should be a rule- if you jizz on it, you wash it
I would go down on you faster than GM stock
I want to fuck you on the side of the bed tonight.
babe, don't say it like that!
I'm sorry, I want to penetrate you on the edge of our sleeping quarters this evening.
I love wearing low cut shirts cuz then when class gets boring, I can look down and admire my breasts.
Maid of honor is brides sister and single. Likes lemondrops. You're welcome.
If the egyptians can build pryamids men can walk on the moon and ron jeremy can sleep with all those bitches then we can finish these three handles of vodka
the dude in the apartments across the street got a video of me railing blake on your front steps last night
shit like this is why i dont let you drink vodka anymore ..
She asked me to come on her OkCupid date with her
Yeah I blacked out in a wiener costume.... I think I'm ready to come home now.
I left the office with a vacuum, 2 condoms and 300 dollars cash money. Tell me I don't have the most versatile job on the planet.
My little sister just helped me edit my nudes so that's how my night is going
My god imagine how much cum is in that astroturf
wait you fucked a guy who wears k-swiss? seriously?
I know, im living my 7th grade dream
There's a little game I've come up with since the mess of a party I had; it's called "tinsel or condom wrapper? (or: what's that on the floor?)"
Randomize