the spit in my mouth is still 99% not mine.
She got a text from her mom saying "you better not sleep with him, we all know how he is". IV ONLY BEEN HERE A WEEK
I have bruises everywhere. I think I took "the drinks are strong" as more of a challenge than a warning.
I woke up to a text that said, "I can see you but can't get in." It was the pizza delivery guy who saw me passed out drunk on the floor through the front door.
I was just told that i'm a premature cuddler. . . What does that even mean?
Whatever it is you failed
Nope, sorry. Already took my bra off. All down hill from here. My next act will be crying, singing, and eating girl scout cookies in the shower. You can come watch the shit show though.
You climbed out your own window and walked in the front door..
We go out, we get drunk, we watch Star Wars, we pass out. What's wrong with this tradition?
I'm doing an Uber ride of shame in a red, white and blue bikini top and America shorts. Good for me.
my suitemate came in my room last night and flashed me. and then she just walked away. deff transferred to the right school
You start to question your party girl tendencies when you're wearing the same shirt you wore the night before to work and you're trying to get last nights Jell-O shot off the sleeve on your way to work
Good!!! I'm so proud of you for not snorting alcohol. Big girl steps.
I'm making a will, in it I'm leaving you my skull.
He lives in a tent in my ex'd backyard. Why the fuck would you want any of that dirty dick?
I know he’s married, but he’s still a guy with balls and a dick. He noticed my cleavage and stared at my ass. He’ll call.
Randomize
