Bar closing I am hiding in the bathroom. do you think anyone will find me?
Im broke. I spend all my money on weed cigarettes alcohol and food. In that order. I cant even cut one of those because you know it'd be food. I already stopped getting my nails done just so i could support my bad habits.
She can't keep using her latex allergy as an excuse to go bareback with everyone.
there was a guy here who managed to get his head stuck in a fishbowl. no, I don't fuckin know how
its always fun the next morning to look around the room and see where all the clothing landed.
I just found pie in my hoodie pocket... This break needs to end.
I smoked a bowl while he ate me out, you need to change your major to match making asap. You are a guru of love.
I seriously just caught my Pina colada from falling of a table perfectly facing up. I will now reward myself by finishing this one and then getting my 8th
Wearing a french maid costume for Halloween sure did help me meet girls
Dude, they all thought you were gay.
I know I've wanted to fuck him for the past month, but when you're that hungover, the only chemistry you have is with a pillow and a gallon of water.
Why can't burritos get me drunk
Well yeah. But im not sure i trust the black out drunk high girl giving life advice
Why is there multiple peanut butter and toasts stuck to the fridge door?
You took acid last night and I’m up early to go to the grand opening of a new TJMaxx by my house. We couldn’t be more perfect.
....I just did my boss
I love you. And I will hold your hand as we skip on the road to hell.
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