Btw I've read that book you bought me...And I'm such a bitch now
But I don't think guys love me
First shot of my 21st. 11 a.m. in econ class. Success.
How are you going to pay for strippers in Vegas when you were just begging for McDoubles?
she's sitting alone using her breathalyzer as a kazoo. help.
Cops do not care. One just laughed and said "precious"
You're a disgrace to the female race and the love triangle and halloween.
I wiped my mouth this morning with a pine tree branch after I threw up on the side of the road. Tis the season
how did we start talking about space blow jobs?
So our 'date' consisted of getting drunk off champagne at four and photo-bombing the shit out of tourist's pictures all over the city. Thoughts?
PS: when I ask you if I look fat in a a dress DO NOT TAKE YOUR SWEET ASS GAY TIME to formulate an answer only to tell me in front of our family that perhaps I should buy Spanx. Do you WANT me to tell mom and dad you suck cock? Then be a good brother and have the common decency to LIEEEEEE!!!!
speaking of festive, i made out with a guy in a leaf pile last night. happy fall?
He yelled "CARLI LLOYD" and then kicked the cake off the table. Soccer is making monsters out of us.
I need my sock, sombrero, maracas, and I just heard I had a light saber, if thats the case...i want that back too
The Domino's delivery guy is in front of me at The Wendy's drive-through. Hmmm.....
I threw up in my 8 AM. Morale is low.
Randomize