just had cupcakes and mountain dew for dinner-now i'm playing super mario brothers. 10 year olds all over the world would kill to be me.
I think the waitress doesn't beleive I have friends coming. I've had 4 drinks and a large salad just waiting for you guys.
My leg won't stop wagging. It's like it's congratulating my vagina.
but you must be fair and judge his penis by normal penis standards and not let your vision be clouded by the rare gem of a penis you have recently encountered
I just picked up my chili cheese fries off the ground ate them, and then licked up the cheese that was still on the concrete. Thank you Jagerbombs
Strip beer pong in the front yard? Of course the cops showed up
He made me meet him in the baby department of walmart where he was waiting with his pregnant girlfriend. Time for a new dealer
she got kicked out of the bar for shoving german chocolate cake in the bartenders face. we were there less than a minute
She just causally held my limp dick in her hand the entire movie. Her parents were cuddling on the couch too..that brave!
Question. Was fucking Laura an entirely regrettable decision?
like...quickly.
I feel like the devil is trying to impregnate me through my eyeballs.
He's actually really cute and seems like a good guy. And given that he likes lots of drugs, he could come in handy.
You're going to replace me with a robot made of heating blankets and a vibrator?
This time tomorrow I will be drunk and in a voodoo shop
Think he has a gf
Yea that shit doesn’t necessarily stop me
Randomize