You are the one person I know will appreciate this- and I'm aware that its nearly 5 am- but I have 3 words... G spot orgasm. BE JEALOUS
How, after 24 years of life, did I manage to revisit breastmilk
Speaking of school, I've done the math and I get laid about 10 times more often than I did before I got my law degree. $100,000 well spent.
You were so trashed that when you dropped your fruit rollup on the floor, you just sat next to it and cried.
in hindsight, $10 Malibu buckets were a terrible idea...
he just looked at me and whispered "these are my sea lions. my sea lions." and then went back to licking the mirror
"Guy Time" translaed into 10 shots apiece and me waking up covered in my own blood.
You were carrying around a milk crate, randomly putting it down calling out 'praise be to the milk gods' and making people pray to it.
Will it be a clothes optional week when I get there? I have an amazing outfit of tattoos and toenail polish planned.
He used Kanye West lyrics to justify what happened and I accepted his logic
You held an empty wine bottle to your head and declared yourself the "wine unicorn." For the rest of the night you galloped everywhere and whenever anyone refused to be a wine unicorn with you, you tried to spear them with the bottle.
Well you should have thought of that before you were reckless with your butt
I've got 3 hot dudes surrounding me. It's the Bermudick Triangle.
He kept referring to my giving him head as a new level in our relationship and acting sentimental
You gave him a bj, not a kidney
That wasn't even sex. That was a fuckoning
...did you just create a word for what we did?
Randomize
