does wine, beer, and vodka mix well??
dude, everything can mix, this is college.
Tell me why Im cashing out of Walmart with Smirnoff and catfood
His friends call him "Gasm".... Im going for it.
You guys need to stop introducing me as "the girl you shared"
We went to his house and he brought a jar of pickles to bed. I think im in love.
I found out that my first kiss was an Italian. Even in kindergarden i knew size mattered.
Lesbians are nicde people they do not take debit cards
Home. Barefoot. Drunk. Crying. Puked. Brushed teeth. Washed face. Dying. Need Cuddle.
My dad picked me up from the bus station and as soon as he saw me he yelled "bus backwards is SUB!" and started laughing, I'm like 800% sure he's stoned. I'm so happy I came home for spring break.
If we don't have crazy animal sex tonight at least twice, I'll know he's cheating on me.
Who wouldn't want crazy animal sex with you?!
A cheater.
I left myself a note saying 'buy a hamster but not an orange one like this pen'
omg so drunk
I'm never going out with the ashleys again. it was whoreible. terrifyingly whoreible.
If my emotions are below a 3 or above a 7, I'm crying
Well guess who isn't a virgin anymore
guess who isnt wearing pants has a shaving cream beard and is afraid theres no cream cheese in the fridge
the answer to that last one was me. the answer to the first one is you, you sly dog
What am I supposed to say? "Oh hey, I can't go out with you tonight because I can't picture myself sleeping with you and I was high and just trying to be nice when I said yes"?
Randomize