Police were just in my backyard to recover a loaded .38. What the fuck?????
you kept searching pizza on facebook and becoming a fan of each page dedicated to it
Watched him slip somethin into her drink. Dragged him of his bar stool, punched him out, and told her what i saw. Bartender used some chemical to confirm presence of rophynol. Just woke up at her place
The only thing he had going for him was mad fingering skills. the ONLY thing. crayons have a wider circumference.
i wish i just like had a pee bag attached to me and i could just go whenever i want wherever i want
I know I've wanted to fuck him for the past month, but when you're that hungover, the only chemistry you have is with a pillow and a gallon of water.
don't do it for the experience, do it for the story. now get your ass in that bedroom
I'm running on 2 hours of sleep. Just spent 6 minutes staring at the back of my hand thinking: "I don't really know this that well"
I'm smoking in a kimono on the couch. Bring me gin.
Also I know you probably did not understand anything I said on the phone last night but thank you for pretending.
Me and you. The most fucked up people on the planet drinking together. Hell yeah
Like the fear of satan was put into my heart when I saw him put that sandwich on the WOODEN BENCH
Turns out he's just a recently divorced IT guy. Not a wizard.
We just did a u turn on the highway to settle a dispute in a game of slug bug
Just let a guy I just met eat me out in a shed at a baby shower. May have sunk to a brand new low
Randomize
