I have one brief flash of having his dick in my hand. that's all I remember.
I wish "capable of destroying an innocent girl's life" is something I could put on my resume
I put so much effort into my vagina today. If i don't get laid tonight I'm gonna be pissed.
Life is so much better when you know you're gonna get laid soon.
I have a spoon shaped bruise on my ass...
We have a tower of vodka coming. OF VODKA
I was barred out and drunk as fuck locked out at 3am in my Indian costume. It was literally freezing outside. I laid down on the concrete and made a bonfire with dry leaves. Then proceeded to ask.the.bonfire nicely to "please dont go out". Drunk me went strait up survival mode.
I got to explain to the guys at work today how i had no choice but to go to a gay bar because I was handcuffed to a lesbian.
I hugged the bouncer as we left.
hes like bread. how could bread be dangeous
we were both freshly single and using each other as rebounds. most intense sex I've ever had. i felt like a grizzly bear emerging from hibernation in a whirlwind of sexual fury
He fell into the beer pong table and broke it. Then he threatened to throw the toliet at us if we didn't let him keep playing
You're the second person to offer to fuck me in the bathroom at work. Idk whether I should feel honored, or if cvs is just a turn on.
I was chasing moonshine with vodka last night. I'm still not sure how I'm sober right now.
i was too drunk before they even got here. i took all their phones instead of keys and hid them in the freezerr...im an awesome party host.
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