everyone has their kryptonite. mine just happens to be 18 year old blonde girls.
Things are going great. I have tons of beer, margaritas, and theres an inflatable swan in the mix.
I bought this skirt with every intention to have it wrapped around my tits by the end of the night. So, I'm not a whore. I'm a self-fulfilling prophecy.
what kind of wine goes with anal sex and shame?
i am one more weekend without sex away from dosing him with viagra and locking ourselves into a closet.
Should we pre-order food to the ER for cinco de mayo?
best. trip. ever. this is going to be too much fun. petland isnt going to know what hit them.
For future reference, Twizzlers CAN leave welts.
A lot of things don't look good... It doesn't look good for a lifeguard to be smoking a cig and drinking from a conspicuous cup... But hey I'm doin it
I can't blame him for thinking that then, placing a cone shaped potato chip on the tip of his penis post bj is not a normal act of love
A part of me realizes this is a bad time to text. But I override it with my awesomeness
I remember looking at his body and thinking wow you have a body sculpted by Jesus himself. Still not sure if I said that out loud or not
We started a fund for a baby in a wine glass, I think we're pretty responsible.
Have you ever gotten such awesome underwear you wish you didnt have to wear pants?
She then told me, and I quote "I want to send you nudes just to see how you'd react."
Randomize