once we finished he held up the condom and asked if i wanted to keep it as a souvenir.
oh and he was serious.
my summer class's final was canceled bc it interfered with the world cup. he is giving us all A's on it. I love europe
He dumped me and I don't wanna fuck his best friend for revenge. Is this what maturity feels like?
He blew a load on his roommates pillow just to piss him off. Why did you introduce me to these people?
You'd think if the campus holds 28,000 undergrad I wouldn't run into three people I've hooked up with in one day
We invited our waitress tonight to come too.... we told her she had lightning in her veins and in return she taught us a Texas Roadhouse dance so the logical next step was invite her to a kegger.
He asked me if I wanted to blow his whistle and proceeded to pull out an actual whistle.
I would go a lot of places to get laid. But I would NOT go to Staten Island.
Slept at my ex's best friends house while my ex was locked out and I walked by him sleeping in his car this am
The perfect man would keep a whisky sour in my hand and give me endless sex. I really don't think that's too much to ask for.
he showed me his third nipple on the first date. I might have low to no standards, but my god.
Who the fuck watches Jessica jones and thinks I need to call a past fling?
What's the best way to tell someone that I accidentally wound up in a gay harem?
We need to move to a different bar soon. When we're standing on the patio, and every guy around us has seen us naked...there's a problem
Literally just stood behind a guy in line at Walmart get his card declined when he attempted to purchase condoms. That's rock bottom.
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