wtf. i just found you're porn stash.
u like it?
NOT THE POINT.
I'm taking child development now so if you get pregnant i can raise your child no worries
she thought Martin Luther king was a president at one time. I love knowing I broke up with my ex and this is what he ends up dating.
I don't know how, but he made a bong out of a hamster wheel. To say I am impressed is an understatement.
I told him the truth. Truth leads to vodka. Vodka leads to tequila. Tequila leads to prison.
you're being stingy. if you didnt want people to have sex on your couch, you shouldve specifically said so.
I bought him bourbon as a thank you for his apology. What is wrong with me?
You're the horniest male I have ever encountered
Makes it sound like you're a scientist documenting your discoveries. I warned you.
He stared me down while singing "Let Me Love You" to me while we were having sex. I don't know whether to marry him or file a restraining order.
She put a shot in my mouth and then hit me with a pillow..
pretty sure I blew his mind with the sex last night. He repaid me with a five minute conversation about power rangers.
So we hooked up and then instead of texting me, he endorsed me on LinkedIn for Microsoft Word a few days later
I need a hobby that isn't dick related
he walked off and puked in the sand. then he made a sand castle over it so that "it wouldn't upset the kids"
You spent the entire night trying to catch pigeons and hugged a homeless guy and then gave him a pregnancy test.
Randomize
