I was curling my hair today and I looked at my curling iron and thought...
You at least unplugged it right?
I wish I could tell you that the worst thing that happened last night was how he got thrown out of a stripclub for vomitting on the girl giving him a private lapdance. I wish I could tell you that and not be lying.
Dude's from Puerto Rico. Majoring in Spanish is like us majoring in drinking with a minor in watching Forgetting Sarah Marshall.
frozen drink friday is suspended until further notice
the welcome home hickey he left on my boob is really gunna put a damper on the rest of my thanksgiving hook up plans with the rest of my ex's
Finished my senior thesis. How am I celebrating you ask? By drinking gas station white zif out of an empty candle holder by myself. I fucking deserve to graduate.
I cannot believe he got soft mid fuck. I just hope he bought that horrible impression you did of my dad. I love you though, you came in clutch tonight.
It was the least I could do after throwing up in your purse.
I mean thanks for the bj but i wanna forget everything that happened last night between 11 and 5
Bone him for me, BONE HIM TWICE FOR ME.
He was pretty handsy. Told me I tasted like smoke. Good think he tasted that and not the stomach acid I just puked not ten minutes before.
The fact that me being able to walk down stairs is an accomplishment in my books pretty much explains how I am
The date went significantly better after the fifth shot of fireball.
Pillow talk?
can't do it. no eye contact either.
Where have you been all my life
The cl.oudds are foaming a really big pen.Is OMG.
My boobs are too perky to pay that much for a car
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