her nipple to breast ratio was just odd
I don't know how I got that girl last night. I feel like seal right now sans the scars
that's just what you get for learning massage techniques from gay porn
They should really start adding the average cost of day drinking to our cost analysis sheets. Does FAFSA cover this? No. It doesn't.
Okay I know I said I was going to quit drinking for a while but apparently pumpkin pie flavored vodka is a thing and I will not rest until I have some.
The judge mental looks i am getting while looking at porn on my phone sitting in the urgent care waiting room is gonna get way worse when they find out im here to see if im pregnant
There's hot sauce all over my mirror, lamp shade and dresser. Also it's your turn for weed
Is it bad I'm drunk at orientation
You've been there for 12 hours, what are you supposed to be doing
Not be drunk
Fuck I forgot the furry convention was this weekend and now I'm downtown. Way too high for this shit.
Talked to the dude for a hour . I now know where he lives, his occupation, his goals, his dreams and what his dick looks like.
I yelled at him as he left "you broke up with me. You lost your blow job privileges"
you said you were the change fairy and you kept throwing all of your quarters at me.
I’m home.
I’m aware. I just dropped you off.
She called me at 2am crying because her late night booty call moved out of state
I WILL go to space. And if we find aliens I WILL fuck one. It’s the Marine Corps way
Randomize
