You look like a girl that would like strip clubs
What's the procedure for failed threesomes? Do I friend her on facebook this morning?
do you have any idea why i woke up naked spooning my toaster?
At least you weren't that one girl in the bar that was letting everyone draw on her in sharpie. Worst decision I've ever witnessed.
K. On the way. I need a drink.
Like a drink drink or like water?
Have we met?
we bought a duck. we're keeping him in our dorm room. don't ever try to tell me you've had a better freshman year than me.
There's strippers and bear every where so ether you gave me the wrong address or this is the coolest birthday party thrown for a seven year old ever.
we've had our differences but let's set them aside, go home and fuck
They got me high and left me at the mall with a giftcard for $400. I need an adult.
Jake bring pizza.
JAKE BRING PIZZA.
Vodka drinking games. Where you wake up next to a douche lord and see your thong in the blinds.
Welp, I can cross "making out with a guy in a dress" off my bucket list...
I cannot be with a girl who won't let me come home on my lunch break, eat spicy ranch and watch Breaking Bad without pants on. #lesbianproblems
i mostly like you because you have a nice nose and that's an important trait to pass on to my future children
i just teared up watching channing tatum in drag emerge from the fog on lip sync battle. it's gotta be PMS. either that or something is realllllly wrong with me.
Randomize