We need to rekindle our bromance
that's like riding a pigeon when you could fuck a bald eagle
we fucked while he was on the clock. He didnt even take off his bullet proof vest. Dont tell me thats not bad ass.
I cant believe she fell for the mistletoe belt AGAIN.
I thought about puking over the balcony or the bathroom and figured the balcony seemed much funner.
The only reason we got away with streaking last time was cuz we had those miner hats
It's a piss down the stairs of the hotel kind of night
I've decided to dedicate my life to finding out which flavor of Gatorade tastes best after you brush your teeth
It's like the sisterhood of the traveling vaginas over here
just had sex on top of a camper looking at the stars, BEAT THAT.
Someone downtown drunkenly stole the antenna off of her car... while she was driving.
But you can't tell me I give the best blow jobs and then not break up with your girlfriend who has fucking TMJ! Come on!
You went to the animal party as a hoodrat. You won the most creative costume contest.
I air guitared a man's prosthetic leg on the bar to Bruce Springsteen. That's how it's going
It's like a donut of clothes around a pair of heels. Like they were transported to another dimension naked.
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