yo - did your mom get a boob job (I think she did)
mom and grandma are in town. grandma wants to get drunk with you
I did a mental Irish jig when he pulled out the second condom.
he suggested i make a website called "cum on molly's face", to "start off my acting career"
This whole foot fetish thing is getting out of control. He would rather hold my feet than me after we fuck.
And you kept repeating "I didn't know know that this was a no blow job zone."
if you really don't think our country's going to shit think of this. Exactly one year from now I will either be in law school or teaching young, impressionable kids, maybe even yours. Try to sleep after that.
We broke into the space center. If i go to jail I wanted to tell you, you have a fantastic dick. Use it wisely.
Holy shit, you lost your virginity on 11/11/11. Now every time someone fucks you, they can make a wish. Your vagina has officially been transformed into a wishing well.
Of all the shitty people we associated with, you should be happy that I'm the one fucking your cousin. Sorry.
Just turned your apartment into a democracy and were voting on who takes shots next
Are we in any of the areas with tornados?
Dude, i don't even have pants on yet, it's too early to think about tornadoes.
i feel like i am made of mashed potatoes. i love cannabis pills so. fucking. much.
I just projectile vomited into my kitchen sink. Today need to be over already.
My mom found my empty case that I hid in my room and just said "now why don't you be a responsible underaged drinker and throw it in the recycling" and walked away. I'm in shock.
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