OMg patrick swayze is the sexuest man he is killing me I'm gonna get dehydrated if I don't stop looking at him
I chugged a bottle of robotussein and i ducking saw a blind lady on a purch sewing a shirt! And a tree portal
thank you for a lively/lovely evening :)
should have blown me.
i did the 'picked up item' thing from zelda when i jizzed on her face
so you're single again?
yea but it was worth it
what happened last night?
u kept telling him to fuck u optimus prime style
that explains why his roommate kept saying autobots roll out this morning as i left
i checked my sent messages this morning and i had apparently tried to text the bar, saying "idk what i drank, do you?"
I love that my brother has just convinced my dad that smoking a blunt it an "unspoken family tradition"
I NEED TO GET TO THE PLAYGROUND. I JUST NEED TO SWING. IF I SWING MAYBE THE SMELL WILL COME OFF OF ME. I NEED TO SWING
Only thing worse than going to work with a hangover is going to work with a hangover then realizing that u don't have to work that day
Yeah i was handcuffed to the bed all night but i actually slept like a baby
Also cheers for the reminder to check last night's texts. It's been a magical adventure through drunk me's thought process.
I just climbed out the passenger side of my car because there was a spider on mine. I'm doing adulthood right
My brother walked up to us as we were making out and was like "hey man, go to town!" and winked
You know how it is. Tell me not to do somebody and suddenly I wanna.
Also we're getting drunk and sledding down Caroline street. See you soon.
Randomize
