Im broke. I spend all my money on weed cigarettes alcohol and food. In that order. I cant even cut one of those because you know it'd be food. I already stopped getting my nails done just so i could support my bad habits.
I just packed a bowl in my room and use glad press n' seal to cover it so it wouldn't dump out in my pocket .
Good ideas don't start with we have a bottle of vodka..
it was like having sex with a tree stump
So apparently the christmas orgy was a complete disaster
marshmallow pipe was a success. so was melon pipe. come try it
i vomited out of my nose in three different houses so far, i will be back for my boots tomorrow
it's almost 8pm and i'm still hungover. at what point do i alert someone?
Ok well hopefully you're not staging an intervention for me at your place because I'm bringing beers
You have not lived until you've puked on your sequined UGGs in the Rite Aid parking lot while going to buy emergency contraceptives.
If thou doesn't answer thou phone thou shall receive a barrage of Dick pics. It's the eleventh commandment.
Step 1: chug a red bull vodka with no ice Step 2: chase that with a shot of wild turkey Step 3: chase that with a shot of tequila
Step 4: your drunk
ALMOST WRECKED MY SCOOTER. DAVE FRANCO HAS A TWIN AMD HE GOES HERE
What did we do lastnight that resulted in a $1,896 charge on my credit card with a $2,000 limit
So, I can officially cross "getting eaten out in a church confession booth" off my bucket list.
Randomize
