Who is this?
Who do you want it to be?
Sarah Palin
I've got the updo, bangs, and glasses, but I'm blonde
So for his birthday I'm planning on doing what stripper did when she put the matches on her nipples..lights them n makes him blow them out..SEE I AM dating material.
So i guess my mom went into the kitchen and asked me why i was making mac and cheese at 4 in the morning and apparently i yelled at her to "get the fuck back bitch you don't know my life"
The Shake Weight not only toned my arms but significantly improved my hand job form and efficiency.
I still can't figure out why that's not in the commercial.
I'm customer of the month for a 3rd time now at the Wine store. I've achieved so much in my life
I feel like I had a lobotomy last night. I blacked out. Did we try to stick my Penis in a beer bottle?
did you really just refer to me me as an old fashioned penis?
they're both coked to the gills having a shouting match about the powers and abilities of godzilla. and using the wikipedia entry on the topic to support their respective arguments.
And dont forget my 23rd birthday where with no underwear i crawled through the cage of the police car. Dont get drunk be fore you get drunk.
Synchronized big wheels back flips off the second floor roof. Good idea or great idea?
Btw, do you want me to fix this with a box of wine and a chick flick or is this more of a 'lets head to the strip club' problem? I'm just trying to analyze the emotional depth of the situation.
is one penis in the hand worth one better nicer penis in the manscaped bush?
She only fucks to metal. I don't know whether to marry her or run for the hills.
He should just accept that I want his dick and his friendship. Can't he understand that I don't do emotions?
He made me watch a sex tape him and his gf made. They were in the shower when her roommate walked in on them. Not kidding: she asked to join in.
I hate him. He gets laid, my dick gets laughed at.
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