Yeah and Nick is shooting his loaded 9mm in his backyard.
i passed out on the floor in my hallway and woke up with my dog licking himself 2 inches from my face. my first reaction? envy
nothing makes up for a small, perpetually flaccid penis quite like a British accent
just had sex with a midget and didnt wrap it... were totally gonna have a tv show :)
I buy you gas. You blow me. Economics.
I'm in the liquor aisle and a 10 yr old boy yells, "My favorite beer is Corona! Daddy remember when you gave me some on our camping trip?"
Thanks again for allowing my sister to lose her virginity on your bed.
Just had a tv talk show interview in my mirror. Got into to some pretty heavy shit man, would have made good viewing.
On the plus side, I got cel phone video of a major fox news host doing coke.
Im just using you for your dick and your superb survival skills if needed.
Also I'm eating leftovers with a pair of bullet removal forceps (unused) because I don't have a fork.
That's actually very serious....I really do think of you whenever is see pizza
I'm at a Tim Horton's and two girls just came in handcuffed to eachother
I am going to bedazzle the shit out of your Basilisk costume.
its a comptetion of fuckups and im HERE TO WIN
Randomize
