The first thing on our $10,000 damage bill was "condoms in the main drain"
My wife says its no good to have oral sex during pregnancy. So i guess pregnancy is like regular life.
I've never played a more sexually-tense game of Uno in my life.
OMG the post office opened my dildo! "we sincerely regret the damage to your package"
Ok say I was sexually attracted to a patient who also happens to be in high school...on how many levels is that illegal? And will I actually hear the laws break when I fuck him
I didn't budget in chasers this month so were chasing everything with water. Sorry.
Hey, hey, hey, hey. This is a hurriCAN.
its been so long even thinking about having a dick inside me makes me sore
i know i said i'd always be there for you, but i'm beginning to think that what you call "being there for me" the american judicial system calls reckless endangerment.
So... Apparently, "Home" isn't the correct response when a cop asks for your address...
i was so high i thought the horse on my poster was running
high moment I think I just reached personal nirvana
I just spent the better half of my Friday night alone, naked eating McDonalds. Not my worst start of a new year
Hey when you get home, can you do me a solid and throw one of your pregnancy tests on my bed?
EPT or First Response?
He let me share his family pack of hot pockets with him. Chivalry isn't dead after all.
Randomize
