I'll trade you a raw potato for some vodka
I took it to a new level. I'm procrastinating taking my adderall. Hate finals week.
All of my current injuries can be related back to sex.
When she e-mailed me back asking for proof, complete with hospital intake records, I just told her it was a home-birth. I'm prepared to take the fail.
He would stand there for a few seconds with a blank look on his face then randomly start running full sprint towards macdonalds. We'd catch him and he'd promise to stop so we'd let him go and he'd do it again.
It took 5 minutes to find my bra.. in his car.
That was around the time you tried to kick me out for being rude to your fish.
just fucked two guys in less than 12 hours. i miss this part of being single.
and by single i mean slutty
That bitch ruined vodka saturday
last karaoke night = doing dmx songs with a guy who threatened to stab me. so yeah I'm coming out.
Ummm Im the uneducated alcoholic of the group... if I say its a bad idea, its probably a bad idea.
THIS TIME TOMORROW MY VAG IS GONNA BE BRAND SPANKING NEW.
do you think eating a burger while having sex counts as multitasking skills?
so evidently blowing a guy does not mean he will say hi to you when he sees you in class.. in case you're ever wondering
When we were in Vegas he tried to get an Elvis impersonator to act dead on a toilet so he could take photos. This is even worse
Randomize
