that's when I learned why R Kelly peed on that bitch
I just showed my boobs to our astate representative hahahahahahha
The musician playing at the bar just puked inside his acoustic guitar, then sang an encore performance. I love Louisa!!!!
I'm more picky about my flip flops than the guys I sleep with
Was rudely woken up by strangers at 4:15am. I was leaning against the stoplight at 9th
Who topped off the "random beer mix" beer bong with a pinch of pepper?? All you could taste was busch and pepper...
some fat dude with wolverine facial hair just walked out of your room with a snuggie. explanation needed.
Tommorow.Eggs Benedict and surprise blowjob day
Now I'm heckling that my belch is more exciting than their fireworks and I peed down the driveway.
i made this one couple from ohio so uncomfortable that they left....and that was WHEN I HAD PANTS ON
I take to many stalker pics of him. If he ever looks through my phone he'll never give me sex again :(
I just want a man to crawl into my bed with me and never crawl out. Anti socialism at his best.
I woke up with a dick pic from the ex-Mormon via email. Not really what I wanted to see before my first cup of coffee this morning, but I gotta say, I'm impressed.
I really don't think my body can handle another night of drinking
Lol you talk like you have a choice
I am worried that I am gonna die before the weekend is over
she wouldnt leave because they were playing One Direction. I'm dating a thirteen year old.
Randomize
