If it has a penis then it will be stupid. Just how it works.
the taste of these tagalongs is totally worth boning that creepy troop leader chick...
Welp I just blew a load probably the size of a small pond if not a lake
Who the fuck is this
if all that ever happens for the rest of forever is drinking wine and eating popcorn, ill be okay
2 things: 1) can you get hep from toilet water? And 2) do you know where we can get a new skillet for cheap?
Please tell me those aren't related.
I made rice.
Did you take the full box of samoas or do I not remember getting baked and eating half a box by myself?
and then I said "oh, I see the price of Plan B has gone up". and the pharmacist looked at me very sadly. I was just trying to make conversation.
i was so unappreciative the bar was giving out sweatbands UNTIL I casually used it during sex.
I was told that I need a reference for my blow job skills. Be expecting a phone call tomorrow.
I wore his All-American medal during sex. I came in first that night.
Showed up to the airport to find my fuck buddy is on the same flight. Do you think he'd be intertested in the mile high club?
im about to go through the checkout with 3 flasks and a wedding card. let the judgement begin!
update: cashier guessed cash bar before i could say anything. completely bypassed "dry" and knew cash bar right away. i love this state.
i had to call him over, it was my last chance at getting some tonight
HE HAS A RESTRAINING ORDER AGAINST U!!!
it expires tomorrow
I burned my tit while he banged me and it was still the best kitchen sex EVER!!!
In celebration of finishing my homework, lets drink tea w/ vodka
Randomize
