apparently i walked up to the counter, put $30 worth of snacks next to this girl, and went 'uhh i have no money'
if i were to get pulled over right now, the only thing i would be guilty of is listening to 90's Mariah Carey
if there werent so many compromising pictures of me in the hands of so many liberal friends, id consider going into politics
theres bread in your mailbox im going to eat it
nevermind its newpaper
I didn't think her British accent was real until I saw how fucked up her teeth were.
The new google images is a smorgasbord of porn now are plans for tonight are off.
Also, I've sobered up around 5am, in Delaware. I remember making this decision, and highly regret it now.
I have a beer in one hand and a slim fast in another. It's another one of those wednesday nights.
If you're that baked in a class full of people that know you're that baked you tend to offer up a peace offering. Its like the burrito of trust! If eaten you are now obligated to help maintain my grades and keep me from falling out of my chair. $3.75 a morning is worth it for that mafia type protection!
It has become abundantly clear why you give me pixie stix when you're drunk now...
Yeah. You can ask him out. We're just fuck buddies. My vagina will be sad but your heart can be happy.
So our trip to Disney World ended in the three of us stripping at a gay club in orlando.
I'm still a bit day drunk and decided to go for a run. You may get a snapchat of me vomiting soon
We're currently sharing pics of our cats. I can't wait to sit on her face.
Just threw up in the trash can at my desk. I guess "beating the hangover" eventually leads to this.
im ready to get drunk and forget everything ive learned this semester
Randomize
