so I woke up this morning and on their fridge, the first item on the shopping list was my virginity.
Smoking bowl and applying to community college. I now know how I got here.
i wish i could tell you the night didnt begin with me drinking alone
so this was truly a case of the blacked out leading the blacked out.
we had a 10 minute conversation with his family about how I don't let him eat me out. I want to go home
The other night after we fucked we talked about Lowe's vision insurance. Never fuck a coworker.
The Vegas crew is in two groups, Team Vodka and Team Fireball. There is no winner in this.
Your cat is quite the conversationalist after some tequila and shrooms
So are you still down for me to come stay with you and just have sex on vicodin all weekend?
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i'll booty call him tonight after the radiohead concert, that way he can see his favorite band and his favorite vagina all in one night.
Just thought you should know the man you CHOSE to father your children has once again fallen asleep on the toilet. thanks mom
And then I cried about the Cubs for a half hour. If my dignity hadn't already been lost by that point in the night, it sure as hell was then.
New fuck buddy and long time fuck buddy are carpooling home for thanksgiving. #10hrconvoaboutmyblowjobskills
I love that there are toys on the counter. Coffee, tea, wine bottles, gag ball, and handcuffs.
My kitchen gets me.
I just saw an ad for "fair trade quinoa vodka". Fuck this world and everyone in it.
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