Moving to Utah. Got sick of alcohol and have a severe wife shortage.
Hi
Babe...You're really smothering me right now
operation harelip BJ is a go
Until he has ordered mozzarella sticks & beers at 2pm while wearing formal attire, then this is still my bar.
we're at Rob's house and just invented the best drinking game ever....we are on Chatroulette and everytime we see a dick we all have to drink.
She had to leave early so she could get ready for her high school's homecoming. I hope her date likes sloppy seconds.
He grabbed every salt shaker in the apartment and we haven't seen him since. He really really doesn't want to shovel snow anymore.
As we were fooling around he told me he was conceived on this bed like it would turn me on.
Just bought a breathalyzer and Sharpies, guess who thought of a new drinking game
It wasn't really sex. It was just rolling around, trying to make sure his dick didn't end up in my ass.
Normally this is when girls give blow jobs. That's how you mentally condition them to put up with PMSing, because they see the shinny blowjob light at the end of the tunnel.
He walked door to door asking if anyone needed to get laid. Surprisingly, that ended his drought
Lets have the type of night where its 5am and one of us has definitely punched someone who has been on a Disney Channel show.
Foreign objects found in purse this morning include: chocolate covered pretzels, pepper spray, and farm animal shaped key chains (you know the ones you squeeze and fake poop comes out, yea those)
She called and said she was waiting for me naked. I got there and she was in ratty sweats, sitting in Nick's lap, with divorce papers. Needless to say my night was shitty.
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