I don't understand why some guys want to have a huge conversation while standing at the urinal with cock in hand...
Just went to my life planning class. The professor has a braid going halfway down his back and an earring.
I just spent an unhealthy amount of money overnighting a full adult sized Trix Rabbit Halloween costume
we hooked up on one of my student's desks last night...i can't decide if i'm ashamed or massively proud of myself
dude you teach first grade wtf
I think I should become a real estate agent in th friend zone I know the place so well
So i know you wont get this until you land, but if i'm late its cause i was having sex. being blunt and hope that explains things.
He kept making me pretend I was his personal trainer. When I swallowed his cum he made me pretend I was drinking a protein shake. Thats actually what it tasted like.
I just had to remind myself that I'm visible in real life. Sitting in the car in a parking lot, and almost took my shirt off because the tag is itchy and I wanted it off... and you know I don't wear bras...
I seriously had alll four of your knuckles bruised into my arm
I offered to give him "road head" while he played GTA 5. I think he will be more optimistic about date night in the future.
that's the second time I've left that bar and slept with the person that's driven my car. thank god I don't take cabs..
While randomly hooking up with my neighbor last night he says "it's okay we're neighbors".
How do you tell a woman that you are seeing that the scars on your back are from her awesome-in-bed little sister?
I was lying I actually don't, I hope a reindeer shitted in her bed
The shrooms were awesome. Everyone's bones in their face looked so beautiful! Everyone had great face structures.
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