Dude, I couldnt get it up cause she said her parents were home...
ok, come over...I have doritos
i think i have herpe
just one?
So i got in my car, the seats are leaned back, and soft soul music is playing. Wtf happened last night.
like literally i think i'm sweating out semen right now
Awesome morning. I just met my boyfriend's wife, should I have shaken her hand or was the hug a tad over the top?
i dont mean to point any fingers but there is a lot of urine in the kitchen
Just went through ex bf's and hook up buddys and liked pictures of them on facebook. A friendly reminder that I will be back in for the holidays
I had to feed him the pizza because he was too blazed to do it himself
He pissed on a police station. Then expected to not be arrested. Sounds accurate.
Are we in any of the areas with tornados?
Dude, i don't even have pants on yet, it's too early to think about tornadoes.
I thought I was heading girls talk. It was the toilet. Like put my ear to it
Lots of tissues. Maybe pizza. Only time will tell. The stages of political grief.
To be clear you just said "I'll give you a baby" as a sext?
An old Grimace plushie came to life and gave me a pretty knife. I'm never doing acid again.
What conversation warrents "penis" in rainbow comic sans
Randomize
