you were running down the aisles of wal mart singing 'follow the yellowbrick road'. i'm pretty sure you thought the night shift workers were the munchkins & started crying when they wouldnt help u find the wizard. needless to say u were pretty stoned/wasted
I cant remeber how long i've been laying here...it could be 10 minutes to a fucking day
everytime she opens her mouth i wish that i was deaf
tell me how a rose bowl party involves waking up to find a raccoon in my kitchen cabinet eating my oreos the next morning?
hey I'm just gonna fall asleep in the bathroom at the library call me when you're done with class
So I just learned that my father was teaching me rules for drinking games when I was 5.
come over, blizzard of oz party. dress up.
He was going down on me and raised up for a minute, slipped and punched me in the face. My lady boner left immediately.
ur roommate just sent me a pic of us fucking. i'm not coming over anymore.
When a man can't even pay attention to you when you're telling him about how big his penis is, there's something wrong
The only thing that got me through this hellish day was imagining a large Swedish penis inside of me.
What did your vagina DO during the nhl lockout?!
Americans.
Look,the guy had sex w/a Canadian prison guard on the deck of a cruise ship,he could blow any second.
I dapped up a cop while leaving the party
I can't tell if my roommate is crying or having sex and the fact that there's anime in the background is only making this more confusing
Nothing quite like spending your evening singing Shania Twain I Feel Like a Woman barbershop quartet Style with some homeless guys outside of Keyport liquor. love Shania Twain. How's your Sunday?
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