Does my surprise involve the use of a safe word?
Probably.
I'm in.
Funny thing- my attraction to each one is inversely proportional to his level of availability.
At what point did I eat out of your mouth?
im pretty sure while i was fucking her my dog was fucking her dog too
Blood. All over. Pre coke adventure needs to slow down unless I'm involved
some guy i've known for a week sent me nudes saying "you're welcome" i need an award for this birthday
you are never too drunk for berry picking
Come get me...we were walking home and she kept yelling "people need to get run over more!" then she just sat down in the middle of the street saying "it just feels right."
I left your tip in your mailbox. Last night was amazing.
Nothing brings compassion from a group of cafe workers like walking in and asking if they have a 'hangover special'
You don't understand. On her lunch break she sits on the roof, stares into the sky, and chain smokes. I can't get on her level. She is made up of java monsters with whiskey and a voice that sounds like sex.
You need to stop crushing on your boss or fuck her.
Today's psa: there are certain parts of your body you shouldn't scratch while wearing fake nails.
you just tore your cootch a new one, didn't you?
She wore her engagement ring the whole time we fucked. I hate her fiancee, so it was cool
Pretty sure I got pink eye from the strip club. There is also still beer cans rattling around in my shower.
Next time I think it’s a good idea to hook up with any of your wife’s family members or friends just kick me in my dick
Randomize
