Gte hit a new low, I took a poopnap, passed out mid poop on the toilet.
dude I just sharted for the first time ever, kind of gross
well what did you think, shitting your pants would be fun
I figured it out. hungover me hates drunk me, drunk me hates sober me, and sober me hates being sober. so yes, were blacking out tonight.
this one can actually spell my name, that's a shoe-in
So they discontinued the hummer... Now people will have to go door to door to let others know they're assholes
We're doing the donut challenge later. How many can we fit on his erect penis. Needless to say we get along well.
before we even ate breakfast we'd found an eighth of weed in some old purse she never uses. it was gone by lunch
the whole "pretend to be sober/pull it together for my family" thing really blew up in my face when i threw up into my pillowcase.
We realized tonight that we have to get advice about guys from you because you're our only straight male friend that neither of us has slept with.
I feel like a color. Like a wavy color
I screamed so bad because I thought he was going for my sandwich forgetting it was in my hand
I didn't know White Castle was open when your sober.
what do we think the timeline is for when your liver will begin to revolt against your drinking habits?
Went and sat in the wrong fucking class for 30 mins, answering questions and shit. What ever this is i will be on it for the rest of the semester.
RICK FUCKING MORANIS!!!!!
Randomize