she read insantiy as in-nast-tit-ty and asked what the hell does that mean...
Yes..we had amazing sex that I have a 50 percent chance of remembering.
my step dad just called me a drunken slut..someone in my family finally understands me
It was like she tried to cover up all the weight she gained with a fake tan...
and then we had to stop you from trying to pour shots through your nose with the neti pot.
i don't think my dad can get all that mad since he got arrested for almost exactly the same thing last weekend
We fed your dog hot wings then gave it some Bud light to drink. You're right. Dogs are fun.
I maybe just had sex outside in broad daylight. At a state park. Please be proud.
let's see, i ended up walking for an hour towards a macdonalds that didnt exist, sprinted full tilt into a powerline, and left a 30 dollar tip to a waitress at dennys we made friends with. I REGRET NOTHING
How did "just two beers for happy hour" turn into naked backyard wrestling?
I was basically shocked at how calmly you accepted my violently shoving a french fry in your mouth.
I want to just live in between your butt cheeks.
I have an ideal penis or slightly above ideal penis in every country that isn't ruined by the specter of communism
Did you throw up out the back door and cover it with paper towels?
She stood up through my sunroof the entire drive home. screaming her ass off and singing free falling..
Randomize
