I swear to god I'm going to hunt down and stab the next telemarketer that calls from a blocked number while I'm waiting for my STD results...
Eventually evolution will just give us a better liver anyway, so our great great grandkids should THANK us for our binge drinking.
all of his pictures were taken on a library computer, how did you even consider fucking him?
Soo I got blood taken today and when the doctor came back with the results she said "you aren't sick but the tests show that you are currently drunk..."
He only talks to me during the summer and it's probably because I let him fuck me in my pool last year.
It came up in court that I told the arresting officer my name was Thomas Jefferson, and I was born in 1776. I almost kept a straight face. Almost.
Strip club for my birthday. And none of this discrimination shit. We're going to a guys one and girls one. Go get your singles.
I just did something so unspeakable in the panera bathroom that their health score dropped 10 points.
You don't know commitment until you try and waterproof a non-waterproof vibrator
Well, let's just say, I got that eye patch like we were joking about
Yeah i like want to be friends with him. And if we have sex in the physics library well thats fine with me
He has a baby picture of himself on the night stand. I don't think this whole 'one night stand' thing is for me.
And you are going to be so turned on by my batman skills later
UHG. i just want to have hot lesbian sex and eat pizza with you.
I went to watch porn and there's already 3 Santa videos. Happy November 1st.
Randomize
