I don't think your that much of a whore. your like a whore-let. a mini whore.
So remember when i bet you that girl uses dick to validate her existence?
...yea
She's valid.
I'm reducing my diet to vodka and rice cakes.
so i walk in and shes blowing her vag with a hair dryer. so i asked what she was doing, she said heating up supper.. come eat ;)
i'm so jealous of you right now.
the bathroom floor of the diner looks a lot different when you're not rolling around and puking on it.
In their defense you were hugging a watermelon for a good portion of the trip
But he made me breakfast and understands the fuck sleep fuck sleep necessities
The birthday girl is bringing her own barf bucket, it is going to be a good weekend.
I accidentally kneed him in the balls while trying to straddle him so we ended up spending the night watching ffm porn online
I've found my soulmate with the cardboard Dos Equis man.
So, left this guys house wearing a #1 Grandpa shirt and I think this is the best sex score I've ever had.
I hope so much that you got average or above average dick tonight because I wish you the best
"he sent me a picture of a puppy in return for a picture of my boobs. He then captioned it with "look it's puppies first time at the beach". "
Our faces when the strip club was closed looked like the grinch just stole Christmas ☹️
we started drinking at 4pm, somehows its 1 am im in bathing suit running from the cops.....any explanation of what happened?
Randomize
