if you dont talk to me in person you cant text me
Question. If Kwik Trip and Kum and Go were to merge, what would they call it? Kwik Kum or Kum Kwik?
I just realized that all of my cardio comes from dancing on tables.
you can add "aspirated seaman" to the list of things your sister has been admitted to the hospital for
I'm hoping to finish this bottle of wine before I pass out, I don't want the remainder spilling on my white down comforter.
He met a random girl on the bus home and decided to go to Spain with her. The blackout decisions are becoming internationally epic. He has work in the morning.
at one point he couldn't find his underwear so he put on my catsuit to go to the bathroom
He showed me a picture of his baby hamsters and I called them "Mammal McNuggets"
Would love to dress up in respectable attire and take you out somewhere nice and then do disgusting crude things in public
Who the fuck stole my fridge again
dont go in the freezer to fetch your weed. my vibrator may or may not be in there. not sayin, just sayin
I just told my mormon professor that I was late because I was getting a STD test... good start to the day.
It's like every time I'm baked I discover my fingers all over again.
There's a big ass bed, hella ecstasy, and I can guarantee you'll regret every second that you remember.
His idea of hot sex is sticking his finger in my dark star while doing me Missionary style. You can tell he's from the Bible Belt.
Does he smell like BBQ?
Inside and out.
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