im in a room full of women tattooing each others tits. i hope i remember this tomorrow
just found out there is no tactful way to ask your girlfriend to wax her stache. no matter what a google search would have you believe.
I just used my med student white coat as ID to buy beer at 9 in the morning
I lost it last night. That was humiliating. Cincinnati is now covered in my puke.
I found this letter on my leg this morning "dear sober self- we are one body now. It's weird but get used to it because it already happened" who the fuck is lionman?
I cannot tell if the couch is cold or I spilled beer. THAT kind of night.
I just put bacon on a thin mint and enjoyed the shit out of it. I better not be fucking pregnant.
cant tell, his cock is acting like one of those inflatable arm waving things outside the market
I am significantly less than sober now. Gonna make like, ten hotdogs.
Let's hurry up so I can puke at home instead of my van
I slept with a Brazillian Man, That's why I'm Watching The World Cup
When he was going down on me I referred to him as "Lord Snow" and HE GOT IT. HE GOT THE GAME OF THRONES REFERENCE. I AM IN LOVE
If you find me in the bathroom in a fetal position, licking frozen bacon .. I might have Drank a little too much.
ya I went to the grocery store literally just for cheese and condoms
I know I drink too much cuz "ssssjllapph peneinssesss" automatically comes up in my phone now.
Randomize