so many types of cookies right now. i'm eating four kinds of cookies that i've made into larger cookie sandwiches. too high. whoa.
bad decision 37: pregaming the antique store
We got the idea to smoke under his bed because, and I quote, "it'd be just like going camping"
I smoked a bowl while he ate me out, you need to change your major to match making asap. You are a guru of love.
Hahaha wear something that says i'm here to party but wont go farther then a handjob.
I think we can all agree that the size of her boobs, combined with beer, is destroying my ability to judge looks.
He said the first movie he ever jerked off to was Titanic because he knew "they were totally doing it in that car."
I am too high to deal with coming home to 11 naked people in my living room
I'm going to start charging you rent if you keep leaving your random conquests on my living room couch the morning after
And in that, my finest lazy stoner moment, I used my cleavage to hold my bowl steady while I packed it laying down in bed.
all i want in life is a shot and a cock is that too much to ask
We knew it was an interesting night when we found my thong wrapped around a chocolate chip muffin in the fridge.
we were running around the halls trying to bloodhound search out the source of the weed smell, but we ran into six other people doing the same thing, and they all said they assumed it was us.
I don’t know whether to call out sick or call in drunk
I'm pretty sure my therapist gave me the green light to fuck him.
Randomize
