Pick my eyebrow is burning. I'm sitting in the back of dolows vat and listening to jolly music and wilfgang is signing and looking food. Cute kid. Home is where I go now.
what. the. fuck.
Pre-order weed for 4/20 and i'll give you a discount.
Weird question, would you want to do fetish porn? you get paid.
I cagt a turtle and named him squirt. He's in my bathtub Caleb is feeding me peaches! This is the most beautiful vodka Thursday ever!
I called my dad at 3 a.m. because I thought he'd be proud that I didnt get arrested. Daddys little girl at her finest...
There's somethin not right about having to take the batteries out of your 27 year old boyfriends gameboy to use in your vibrator
Is 'too horny to study' a good enough medical excuse to not take a final?
yeah we're mixing orange juice, vodka, and rum and calling it Oj Simpson On Trial
Just watched a girl fall down the stair and be to drunk to get up. The only stair in the bar. It's like watching a turtle on it's back.
You always seem to be able to bribe me with tequila and Mac and cheese. This relationship of ours will cause me health problems someday.
Dude I was walking down the street and threw up in a plastic cvs bag. Tequila wins again.
The only way he could ever pleasure me is if he lit himself on fire and let me watch
Ive never seen a drunk man get suplexed before last week, now its the standard requirement every time we go out.
His abs are so defined he looks like a human xylophone.
Its mothers day... Can my present be an orgasm...for once?
Randomize
