dude, i think i am in a porno. I was working out at the hotel gym and some chick was doing yoga and a guy comes up and says "good, now i know your flexible" then they started making out. WTF?
I just tried to put my feet in my slippers and found cans of beer in them. Christmas in fucking july.
I'm seeing double. Its like being in a room full of people
dude she was givin me head and stops and looks up at me and tells me she loves me, then goes ''alright now cum in my mouth''.... pretty sure shes the one
i just declared my major based on how close the department building was to our apartment. laziness has been brought to a new level
You're in the clear; you and Andrew did not joint fingerbang that girl on the dance floor last night.
Just saw pictures of a pregnant teen from my hometown with an American flag wrapped around her naked body posted on FB without irony. These are my roots.
My clothes are covered in blood and I feel like I drank a gallon of elephant cum...it's safe to say I'm hungover
As its breast cancer awareness month, I'm going to do my part by making everyone aware of my breasts
your life is not complete until you watch a gaggle of murderous clowns dance to gangnam style.
also, what is the correct term for a shit ton of clowns?
Ick. That's not even the fun kind of punishment.
She's still here. My penis can feel it.
Dude, I think she left with some dude like an hour ago
FOUND HER. I swear this thing is like a metal-detector
I made out with that lesbian chick for a blunt. NO REGRETS.
sarah's view on last night: a threesome to make things less awkward. oh, well done.
Yeah well I fucked my ex on a sink last night soooo booty calls for us all
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