There is a such thing as a wonderpuss octopus. Officially my new favorite animal.
in mid cry she says "I can be a whore if I want to"
i don't even specifically remember last night, it's just one big wonderful lesbianic blur.
his mom walked in, looked at me, sighed n nsaid 'when are u gonna learn' n walked out
Oh dude, thanks for giving me that liquor last night, except replace 'giving' with 'violently forcing'.
she's five days sober.....are those consecutive????
5 days not 5 nights... like a bad hotel/vacation deal
Here's my first problem: I'm drunk
Oh no. Not her. Her personality clashes with mine in ways that would make me wanna beat myself with a stick.
We got naked and peed in the garden. Something about bonding with our new house
My vagina is glad I'm back at work because it needs a vacation after working all through my vacation.
Correction: *I* watched JoJo's Bizarre adventure while he snored asleep on me cock still fully inside me.
I woke up naked and alone this morning. What a life
So I had this brilliant idea that I would sleep in all sorts of sweatpants and sweatshirts... Apparently I thought I could "sweat" off the drunk in my sleep and that it would make me feel better when I woke up
If by whore you mean UPGRADE....then yes I am
I couldn’t resist. He had a camouflage condom. You know I love a man in a uniform
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