STUCK IN CAPS. WANA GET AFTER IT TOMORROW?
discovery: the myth about swedish girls giving good head? not a myth.
What did you even date her?
because emotionally unstable girls are great in bed.
Used tampon in my purse. That from you?
Fell down a spiral staircase. Et tu vodka. Et tu.
Next time when I try to seductively eat onion rings while drunk remind me of tonight.
Wondering when "babysitting" formed into "sleeping on the couch for five hours nursing a hangover and giving the kids Nyquil."
Time for jim to play the "dont seriously consider pooping in the trash" game
I smoked that joint really fast and now I'm so high I'm crawling around on all 4 giving my dogs piggie back rides pretending its the macy day parade for dogs and I'm their giant human float.
I used the hope and guess method to figure out who I slept with last night.
Something about the fact that I could do coke off her ass cheeks just speaks to me
I'm in his bed with no pants on and he's just eating a sloppy joe
Not bad. Ran into Carlo. He shared a story about a sailor who got gonorrhea in his eye. It made me feel better about myself.
Omg my orgasm just made the fucking sun come out. Clearly my libido controls the weather now.
Even if they did assume we were doing kinky shit, it's not like they're gonna be like, "HALT SATAN! INTAKE SOME JESUS AND VOMIT YOUR SINS!"
Randomize
