Writing a book: The Evolution of the Douche Bag: From Popped Collars to Ed Hardy Shirts. Doing research now.
Make sure you include chapters on white sunglasses, spray tans, and toxic amounts of hair gel.
I felt like Norm from Cheers walking into the free clinic.
Dude, can't find my socks anywhere....
Yeah, you took a shit in the harbor off a wall, used them to wipe. I'm sure they're still on the beach somewhere if you really want them back
I don't think so, think I've only met him once, the night I lost my teeth
i crashed through a building. if that counts then yes, i went out with a bang.
You're my spirit guide. This has to do with oatmeal cream pies.
"The juvenile turned and faced the officer, unzipped his pants, placed a fresh cigarette in between his legs and preceded to light it with a match"
Nobody knows who the hobo or dude who whipped out his balls is
chimney cleaner pole that expands when button is pushed then pull out. Remember that. We have to patent it.
Who are you high with right now?
Dude. There are selfies on my phone of me, wide-eyed, sucking my pillow. We did NOT split that bag 50/50.
It will be like a scavenger hunt.. only we're looking for places to have sex.
I was going to make you have an awkward boner around all your coworkers but then I fell asleep.
I don't want to resort to having sex with people that actually like me.
Great, now I'm picturing myself as a fucking garden gnome
What does "mood AF" mean?
Mood as fuck.
Why did you comment that on a video of a gorilla throwing its own shit?
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