he spent the whole night trying to convince me into a2m. i won't even use the pb til i clean the jelly knife. i love him but it's not going to happen.
she won't take no for an answer... no matter what language i said it in
this is hardly the first time i've been told i'm dressed "too suggestively" for 7 in the morning.
I have realized now that neither the top nor bottom of a bunk bed is safe for sex....
I DON'T CARE WHAT THE CIRCUMSTANCES ARE NEVER VOMIT IN MY PURSE AGAIN.
I seem to have forgotten that I am wearing a one piece bathing suit under my clothes
This isn't just a hangover. I can feel the blood moving through my veins, and it hurts.
sometimes a perk of being a drug dealer is amazon gift cards. who knew?
Is Oprah even human
Can we relax the "married man" rule just once?
Well, I crapped my pants in front of her entire family, was laughed out of their house, and I had to walk home with shit stained pants. So, yeah, it went really well.
I mean, I was expecting a little more coke snorting and a little less kids and cake
You smell like a steam boat captain.
Whatever your on right now, I want.
He just told me I was beautiful, whilst I peed into a cup. If this isn't love I don't know what is.
St. Patty's shenanigans tmrw? I wanna meet dudes lol. Why stop at coronavirus when you can get the clap, too?
Randomize
