He's been sleeping iwht ***
Nooo
Yeah I don't even know how, she looks like her mom smoked crack while she was in the womb
And then hit her in the face with a shovel
Do u have any bacon or vodka by chance
Why are there hot girls at the dollar store?
The recession has changed everything man.
my grandma just told me that size does matter, and don't let anyone tell you anything different.
Giving the kids Children's Claritin and calling it candy.....Is it setting them up for drug abuse later?
I DONT WANT TO PLUS I THINK I FLUSHED MY KEYS DOWN THE TOILET WHILE I WAS PEEING
Just realized I left my heels in their microwave. Whoops.
All I know is that your reaction after this date with him was "I think I did cocaine" so I'm sold on this boy
I have come to the conclusion that my perfect boyfriend is a cardboard cutout of Link with a dildo attatched. Also, Merry Christmas.
I'm laying in bed listening to Purple Rain on repeat. If you wanna bone, come up, but if not, at least Prince understands me.
I put on slutty clothes under my normal clothes, im like fucking super slutwoman
Best superhero ever to exist
Don't worry, I'm taking the best gay radar in the World, my sister's boobs. All guy who is not looking at them, it's fair play for us.
He called me 'pal' while complimenting how well I took his load on my face. I've officially been fuckbuddy-zoned.
How’s your Christmas Eve so far?
I just chased my melatonin with red wine. It’s 12:00pm.
He just took off his shirt. I'll text you later.
Randomize
