UPDATE: In a passionate fit of self love, I brought myself to orgasm under the moon on my 7th floor balcony, ejaculating between the rungs towards the ground.
Unfortunately, I did not realize that most of it would end up on the balcony below mine.
At least you don't cum in color.
i just got the best bj of my life in the pastors office at church.. Youre right jesus really does love me.
Somewhere in this world my second husband is in 9th grade.
I wish i had a shirt that said, "I know what you're thinking and it's not herpes on my face"
Would it be inappropriate to do lines in front of the cable guy?
I lost count after the 4th body shot but I think I'm wearing at least 3 different peoples clothes.
Ok if you are accepting my apology, please continue to ignore me. If you are not, please fill out the brief survey that follows, to help me improve my people relations: a) your a bitch please leave me alone b)your crazy pls leave me alone c) I never cared ab u please leave me alone. D) all of the above e) all of the above but I wouldn't mind still fucking u. F) who are you again? Your answer will not b shared and will b used in accord. With the law. TY
Everyone in the office is in total denial. I asked my boss what he did this weekend and he said "nothing much." But I know we were both thinking about the orgy.
He's afraid of heights. How do I know, you ask? Blowjob on his roof.
He took a girl home tonight that he was trying to sell a fridge to. She wanted a fridge and got his dick. He's got a talent.
Sure go ahead and start this 'business' with him...just don't come crying to me when you have to fake your own death in two years
The girl in the hotel room next to us walked out at the same time as me this morning. She just shook her head, looked at me and said, "faker." Is it that easy to tell?!??
Like I said, all hypothetical...unless, of course, you'd be into that. My heart may skip a beat.
You think that was bad? One time my parents found my sister half naked on top of the four runner in the garage. She makes me look like the good child.
I'm pmsing pretty hard.. .just cried 3 times while eating a Hershey bar dipped in peanut butter
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