I love girls that fake tan. Can you say p p p p p p p p pumpkin face
10 dollar pizza all the toppings you want. Wait Until You See This Pizza
so im sitting outside the gym eating a 20 piece nugget stoned out of my mind, convincing myself this is more productive because im so close to the treadmills.
i think the beer goggles wore off after hearing the story of her 2nd abortion
I just want to jump into a ballpool of dicks now.
"Wait, who's gun did I have?" Moments when you re-examine your life choices.
No. I'm laying on the floor naked. I almost made it to the shower
This could be the definition of living by yourself
I feel bad for his balls. Ive never seen so much sperm. He had to be dying
If you need to be the damsel in drunken distress make sure it's before 3.
What section do you want to sit in? The screaming girls section or the "when you guys were popular I was straight and pretended not to like you guys" section?
Do not tell guys at bars about kittens you rescue. They will walk away.
She had sex with a starfish painted on her face. Thank you Halloween
I feel like my foot is being amputated. Or maybe it's the vodka. I couldn't tell you.
I'll do whatever I want when I'm 80.
If you are still alive at 80 I demand a medical explanation.
I’m going to have to rewatch all of them. Drugs, man.
Randomize