I just saw the Donald Trump of homeless quys walking down the street. He had three shopping carts and a bike.
Yeah not really sure what I said but I remember "douchebag" and "fuck your own face"
To a 70 year old lady?!
how opposed are you to picking me up at the bar at 11:00am?
I've been meaning to ask you. The first night in the city did we do key bumps with a suicidal homeless man? My memory is fuzzy
THEY WONT LEYT ME IN AND I REALLY NEED SOME FRUIT
It's also dangerous to ride a bike down the stairs after a few beers, but I've done it.
I want him in the "you're a terrible idea and are probably going to get me killed by my parents, my siblings, and my boyfriend" way
I'm about to do the walk of shame in a christmas onesie. What would I do without christmas sweater party season?
Beautiful fucking linguistics Shakespeare, but youre still not doing that to my face
Getting stoned at work has never been a good idea, but im always more than willing to give it another chance
Well since your going through her phone..look man she loves you..she just loves my dick more
Is it inception if it feels like another uterus is going to burst out of my current uterus?
Yes I did. Thanks. I was actually an hour and half early. I'm better at public transport than I thought. Guy behind me on the bus is also crying. We compared cry-snot. It was nice in a weird sad way.
Life update - currently drunk off my ass in the yoga room of SFO at 5:30 in the morning.
This whole brainwashing thing is easy!
Randomize
