tfor prom could you pick me up wo bottles of champagne and a condom, please?
They use the phrase "final warning" so often the words have lost all meaning.
Is he smart?
Why would i know that. That would deal with the top half of his body. I only deal with the bottom half.
you should give me head with plastic fangs in
The toilet started ringing, I think I just found your phone.
the last thing i remember is yelling at the cab driver that i'm really good at drive by vomitting.
I told my doctor about us having twin chlamydia
I'm eating those little wheels of cheese and watching storage wars, this is the opposite of sex.
The only way that night could have gotten any better would be if a unicorn would descend from the heavens with a nacho bell grande in a bag around its horn beat boxing Hakunah Matata.
It's like wanting to be a vampire vs being a vampire. You don't know the cock lust until it's infected you.
I woke up to find a bottle of Bacardi in my shower rack. How was your night?
He knocked me in the face with the phone during my light show. Didn't even feel it. Ecstasy is amazing
So I just realized I have three bananas, seven condoms, three lube packets, three tampons, and a shot glass in my bag but no pen #modelstudent
I think all three of us just need to suck it up and go to lunch with him to keep our bar tab down
So I realize somewhere between mildly irritated and outright belligerently pissed is where you are, but as to location, where are you?
Randomize
