I asked her if she watches the office. She said no, but do you watch I'm a celebrity get me outa here? That's when i knew. Deal breaker
new midget porn idea. Wizard of Jizz: Munchkins Revenge
why did i wake up to an event notice that says "Shit Just Got Real"?
just broke no shave november. hello backed up drain december.
I almost punched the night nurse in her face. I woke up and she was standing over me.
i don't know at this point bringing the fog horn might be a good idea...
Nope. Can't afford girlfriends. Still looking for the 25 year old bisexual tripled who owns a brewery or a casino.. the search continues....
and now her best friend is massaging my table under the leg. this may not end well.
he told me he was watching a movie and he'd be over later and i asked how long. he said 8 inches give or take. you cease to amaze me with the guys you set me up with.
I can feel the alcohol in my calves
Everytime I am with a guy I hope his penis is as big as yours. It never is. Thanks for setting that bar.
WTF was I supposed to tell them? "hi mom and dad, this is some rando I met on the internet. please ignore the noises that will be coming from my bedroom for the next 60-90 minutes. kthxbye."
i was too drunk before they even got here. i took all their phones instead of keys and hid them in the freezerr...im an awesome party host.
The party pretty much ended once she shit on the couch
It's a weird kind of sexy when a guy has a bunkbed with his roommate
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