We're like a lot better than the average bears
So when jo picked me up from the bar I kept apologizing and kept telling her "I'm just a wittle donut"
Dude, I woke up in the middle of the night and your room mate was just standing there at the foot of the bed, watching us sleep.. you don't remember me shaking the shit out of you to tell you this?!
This could explain the reason why I've been finding his clothing and keys scattered in random parts of my room..
AND THIS DOESN'T WORRY YOU?!
what if cement was really a rainbow color they just secretly paint it grey so as not to distract drivers
are you high?
I'm dreading the fact that when the dominoes guy comes, he will ask me if i placed an order under the name "high as shit".
Countdown til Saturday. I'd assume we're somewhere around 10,000 bottles of beer on the wall.
this must be what syphilis tastes like
Just pretend you're riding a unicorn through space. Thats how I deal with the stirrup situation at the gyno office.
On a toatally unrelated note, I see music in my hair
She was wearing some slutty variation of a toga and giving the entire bus a pep talk on why we should black out tonight...I'M IN LOVE AND I DON'T CARE WHO KNOWS IT!
Please tell me I didn't try to make out with a 70 year old Romanian man last night ...
I don't think it's food poisoning, I think it's cause you cooked it over burning styrofoam
I wore a bathing suit downtown so I didn't have to put on underwear, I obviously don't have my shit together
Dont you look at me in that tone of voice
Watching Colbert Report and porn at the same time.
Randomize
