Just chased the kids into the backyard with kitchen knives. Best. Babysitters. Ever.
do you think they ever dumped Gatorade over Michael Vick's head after his dog won?
What a tease, dude. She's giving me emotional blue balls.
i'm at a baby shower....never been happier to not be having sex currently
I don't know how God could bestow someone that emotionally confused with such an awesome penis.
Is it a bad thing I remember to take my birth control when I stumble across guys I've had sex with on facebook?
she just made some guy spank her... then made some chick take a running start and spank her.
THERE ARE ENTIRELY TOO MANY HOT UNDERAGE GIRLS HERE FOR THIS TO REMAIN LEGAL.
I specifically found a fat girl to lift me up on her shoulders.\n\nIt was glorious.
Woke up naked wearing mismatched earrings. Didn't even make it to the bar.
i was really disappointed no one would drink beer from our cleavage last night except for us
I mean I sucked his dick at 3 AM... UNDERWATER. I think I have earned a follow back on twitter.
HE HAS CHALLENGED MY BADNESS. I MUST CONQUER ALL THAT QUESTIONS MY POWER. BRING FORTH THE TIT PICS.
The convent might be a nice break from real life
i solemnly vow to never stick my penis into crazy again
I give it a week.
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