PS - I'm in bed with an 18 yr old-am I a cougar?
No - puma.
She was like a white Oprah, but with less conviction.
so the guy who showed me the apt today is now texting me and asking me out for drinks...he's at least 20 yrs oldr than me and highlights his hair, but part of me is wondering how low i can talk him down in rent during sex? wrong?
u ever jackoff with ur legs spread and pretend ur fuckin urself as a girl and get mad u'll never know what that feels like. Or to fly like a bird?
Did u absorb a fraternal twin in the womb?
At the T-Rex bar with my nephew...only in Disney can I have a beer and a soda at the bar with a 4 year old
I'm coming over to use your dick. I need to take my aggression out on something. Hope that's cool.
I'm not saying going to the volleyball games drunk on Tuesday night was a bad idea I'm just saying we shouldn't make a routine of it.
He sent me a pic of his Junk. He said it was a Brett Farve valentine.
I'm not surprised. You have the libido of an Italian soccer team.
Your couch is like an animal shelter for stray drunks.
VAGINAS ASSEMBLE!
I'm not seeing this movie with you.
Omg. I have a story to tell you later about that girl that just crawled on stage
We hooked up. It felt slightly wrong considering he is my foreign exchange student but there's a reason America imports. Foreigners got the goods.
I paused the movie when the delivery guys arrived, and while they were assembling the bed, one of the guys pointed to the tv and said "why so serious?" And it made the whole experience happy.
We did Irish Car Bombs out of butter trays, the influence of the retired community is astounding- I didn't know people even owned more than one butter tray.
Randomize
