You should really figure out how to get me a picture that will pop up on my phone when you call
Just upload a picture of Bea Arthur. That's what my soul looks like these days
That's kind of creepy but I guess since I'm wearing your dad's pants nothing is off limits anymore
sitting with a guy who's looking at the cum stains on the bed. Do you think he's convinced it's from the cat?
No. He thinks you're slutty.
The djing cat is back again. I think he just makes appearances when im shit drunk just to fuck with my mind.
Its 6am and I'm sitting on the couch watching Clifford. Crying into my risotto because emily elizabeth helped the girl in the wheelchair get over her stagefright so she can win a trophy. Never drinking alone again.
Our new goal for this summer is to fuck so hard we lose his security deposit.
We just for robbed for the second time. I believe the only thing I have left to my name is my $75 dildo
the whole story woulnd't be so depressing if i had made out with ANYONE but the piano player.
Speaking is such a hard concept right now
I want to throw pennies on her stage, or just ripping up a dollor bill and throw them one at a time.
I got myself off in the shower last night for the first time ever! I just looked like I was playing a game of twister.
I think I need practice at oral sex
I own a practice facility.
Disclaimer- Don’t worry about my wounded nip. I put a bandaid on it.
I've been getting a lot of emails from patron lately for being a great customer. Is that awesome, or should I start thinking about seeking help?
If I shall die, I wish to bequeath to you my personal library, my sigma tau delta presidency and all it's apparel, and a puppy.
Randomize
