I'm curled up in a ball on the floor of my office with the lights off. I hope no one notices. No more open bar. Woof.
new low.... made out with someone while peeing
What I'm saying is Afghanistan is America's sexually contracted disease.
we ended up doing shots out of those medicine cups..swine flu finally did something good for me
You kept excitedly announcing to the bar what time it was. Followed by an equally excited "Clock language still makes sense!"
The 30 seconds of sex was almost worth it...I mean he did smoke me out and watched the princess and the frog with me
She kept talking about how amazing the banana she had yesterday was. Don't know if it was innuendo, stoned, or just a really amazing banana.
The fact that he said "there's nothing wrong with being a raging drunk, just ask my mother." has me thinking that I have no positive role-models among my friends.
Ran into him again last night, stole his glowstick and walked away. The glowstick mountain in my room keeps growing.
You haven't lived until you've thrown up naked in a hotel room in Fargo while holding your breasts so they don't touch the toilet bowl.
Would it be weird if i sent him a "happy fuckiversary" text?
Just threw up in a baggy on the airplane. The guys next to me clapped and bought me a jack and coke.
Livin the dream
Bitch how dare you drink my dos equis
All I remember thinking is, why the fuck are there martians on the ceiling? And they were riding fruit. Like strawberries and shit.
But yeah, I am thinking that "Cake Heresy" will now be a thing
Randomize
