I don't do stupid things anymore. I do stupid people.
i just google searched "what time does taco bell open"
What started out as Cougar hunting turned into whaling
I don't remember her name, but I do remember yelling at her from the balcony of the hotel room during her walk of shame.
i woke up at 5 am and found myself wrapped in christmas lights that were plugged into the wall.
just got my tax refund and at bell. how do you say i want a grand worth of 5 layer burritos in spanish?
I don't know, I don't really wanna ask the question, "Mom why am I not circumcised?"
I cannot believe I said bareback movement...
THIS IS NO TIME FOR SHAME JOSH. JUST GOTTA GET IT IN. PURELY FOR LEVELING UP PURPOSES
I'm going to need a Jurassic park sized pooper scooper to deal with all this shit last night caused.
Oh my god. I slept with my boyfriend last night. It was wonderful.
And when I say my boyfriend I mean my electric blanket. Because that's the kind of life I lead.
She asked the bartender for "7 shots of something fruity" and long story short the bartender punched me in the face. Chivalry is stupid.
Sometimes having a penis is like having a really stupid drunk best friend. You see it doing dumb shit but you're just not the one in charge.
She said my mask was creepy, took it off with her teeth, and proceeded to bite my neck. I love vampires.
i don't know what happened one minute im stumbling home drunk and the next im drinking pabst and smoking with a french guy ive never met named hugo.
Randomize
