nothing this campus sells is worth it. not even sex.
There is a girl in bio drinking beer out of a starbucks cup with a straw
Yeah, the furnace guy just pulled out 4 empty and 1 full beer bottle from the vent. You are no longer allowed over.
On the bright side, I hit her with the door on the way in
deryk tried to steal your screen door and i think sam and brent are duct taping lauren to the diving board.
She peed in the limo. She stood up and pulled up her dress and peed on the floor of the limo.
it was really awkward meeting your mom for the first time while i was still wearing the condom we were using.
I just handed the barista at Starbucks a panty liner instead of my card....maybe I should upgrade this Tall to a Venti...
Can I tell him I got herpes from your bong instead of from that guy who claimed to be an olympic diver?
Wait. Wine + Crossbow..?
Using the random money I found in my bra from Halloween to pay to print my bio notes. I only brought a debit to the bar. College win.
He Dutch ovened me while I was hiding under the covers from his mom. Needless to say it did not end well.
I'm 2 beers deep on an empty stomach, and I just wanna say, I pride myself on my use of commas
Would it be totally wrong, that in honor of princess leias death, I role played as her??
Looking back, we probably shouldn't have chased alcohol with more alcohol
Randomize
