just saw a prosititute with a baby stroller...question is...if the baby wakes up is the blow job free?
At least I can take solace in the fact that with 8 billion some odd people in the world, at least one of them is shitting in their own car right now.
Pat told us he showed us his penis because he's "a nice guy".
I'm not ok right now. I just walked in on a 600lb woman passed out on the toilet and she walked out and tried to eat her cell phone. I'm on acid I think.
Just took career test that listed librarian and bartender as top career choices. Fascinating.
Just transferred the sun chips from that obnoxious Eco-friendly bag into a zip lock. Fuck the environment, that bag is loud.
You seriously need to keep doing my sexting for me. I just said something about "riding cock like a dick rodeo"
and my loofah got caught on my nipple ring in the shower today. what an awful experience.
Um of course I blew him. He brought me a shamrock shake. It was two o’clock in the morning on St. Patrick’s Day. There was no smoother move basically. He totally earned that head.
You've thrown off my entire schedule. Usually SATURDAYS are my "try to hide the jizz on my leggings" days
i've now hooked up with two guys who have tattoos of their sister's names...so that's a reality i have to live with...
You ran out of his house yelling "I got the goods!" Then you pulled toilet paper rolls out from under your shirt.
He just started dry humping the air... I'm done
You should of known that i was high if i refer to myself as melting into anything
I'm doing my drinking workout. 20 pushups for each beer I finish. I should write a fucking book
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