I would kick you in the vagina but I'm afraid I would lose my shoe.
i think i scared a bird with my dick
I fucked her while she was wearing her boyfriends dogtags. I'm officially a bad american
You were walking around in your swim suit, an open robe, snow boots and a death grip on that handel of captain morgan.
What if I told you that I had 160 ounces of cheap malt liquor in my backpack? Espn films 40 for 40s presents: Edward 40 hands. Our room. 11PM/10 central
I need a "closed for the season, thanks for a great summer" sign for my vagina
Well he walked in last night, yelled at me for not playing any music and started dancing.
banged a milf last night. she left right after cause of parent teacher conferences this morning. victory.
If there is a ladylike way to throw up in your favorite toilet, I just did it.
the straight edge chick smoked with me, because according to her my bowl is pretty
What!? It's 7:30am on gameday. This keg is not going to drink itself.
Nipple rings and loofahs DO NOT mix.
Hi I'm on my way to give you multiple screaming orgasms and Easter candy
His mom wants to come see the dorm.
Hide the whip.
It was bad. U were calling my cat "kittiano" and playing her like a piano. Way too drunk my friend.
Randomize
