She might as well just lie down with one of those red "Easy Buttons" next to her
Her husband keeps getting drunk and making out with me. Good news is I found the strep carrier. Bad news is have strep again.
I just found pie in my hoodie pocket... This break needs to end.
When the tupperware hit the highway it was like a vomit bomb
On my way to the DMV to get arrested
The silhouette of his dick looked like an eagle. Amurrican.
So how was your new years? Did u ride a horse at 3am in zero degree weather? Because I sure did
Relaxed was like phase 1 of this phase 7 high
Start warming up your vocal cords, because Fucking With The Windows Open season has arrived.
Mostly i might never get belligerent again because im gonna have to keep track of a diamond ring.
School starts Thursday. Don't fling yourself out of the car to throw up screaming "classy" before I park this time.
It's a new year.
HE JUST ALLUDED TO FUCKING MY FRESH LOAF OF BREAD
I feel like dick that good should always be within a five kilometre radius of me.
I'm dangerously close to tossing this whole "morals" bullshit and swan-diving into the fuckboy lifestyle.
I just ate part of my sock, this has got to stop.
Randomize
