yes i saw that this morning. it was my mailbox.
My text messages all automatically add Zs on them cause of your skank ass messages you send me
I promise you 4 toothbrushes taped together and lube does not do the trick
history professor just told us he has magic fingers. i'm going for it.
So...it's hour 4 of day 5 of week 7 of my internship, and so far all ive done is shred paper. all. day. long. it's like working for Enron.
Registered for next semester classes drunk. Let's hope I didn't accidently sign up for history of dinosaurs again...
I want something that's relevant to him banging her right after I did. Like "runner-up"
Never again. Her vagina looked like a sad old man.
I'm crossing my legs while pooping. Taking a shit has never looked so proper.
now that I know that you did coke with your mom I can't look at her the same
He's just sitting there staring at my sisters teddy bear hoping it will come to life.
he had shaved armpits. I repeat: HE SHAVED. HIS. ARMPITS! First hookup of 2014 and it's with a weirdo. Alcohol:1 Me:0
I gave his daughter swim lessons and in exchange he sold me an ounce. I feel so accomplished.
I didn't tell that thing I wasn't coming over. Whoops
You know you haven't dated in a while when you call boys "that thing" and call dates "a boy type thing."
MUFFINS DON'T MAKE YOU ORGASM MULTIPLE TIMES OR HAVE ROCK HARD MUSCLES.
Randomize