Remember back in the day when getting fingered in the movie theater was the best thing ever?
Please explain to me what this has to do with my fantasy to fuck larry king?
i just watched a video of two girls fucking with a banana and i thought of you.
i hate you
FIrst one done
How did it go?
I dunno I taled about women being treated wrong and quoted Ice T. So probably a "c"
Best idea ever: Giving hobos a beer and having a chugging contest to win another beer. Most fun I have had downtown in a while.
I just horrified a large group of people. Congrats on dating me.
no drinking for a week
if by week you mean tonight and by no you means yes
Were you rubbing your penis on me while I slept? I smell like penis.
Bone him for me, BONE HIM TWICE FOR ME.
According to him, i kept saying "I'm belligerent as SHIT" and tried to run around the house in just my bra and underwear. Thats when they decided to carry me to the car and take me home.
I spent the money she owed me on enough magnum condoms to make a blimp. Damn right I'm going to make the best of it.
It was rough. I have dried puke in my hair and I don't know if it's mine or from the girl I met on the ground waiting for a cab.
We exchanged snapchat usernames instead of numbers. Is that what America has come to?
so it took us like 45 minutes to get into the party.... then when we wanted to leave we were blocked and forced to stay.
....you got kicked INTO a party??
I haven't reeked of cheap beer and poor decisions in months. I officially hate adult life.
Randomize
