you got kicked out last night because right after you said "whats up?" to us, you downed your whole vodka ton and threw it across the bar.
Take one last look at my face, because I'm drinking it off tonight.
why do all canadians talk like horny gerbils are stuck in their throats?
we came up with a wnba drinking game. take a shot every play that you could've done better. won't make it through 1st quartar
Uh yeah. I ate a brick of cheese. Didn't even cut it. We were admiring the teeth marks I was leaving. We decided it was the negative of my mouth
Can't decide if I want to watch full house or the fleet wood Mac concert during the presidential debate.
BING! You are now free to move about my panties. He just left for work.
My gynecologist got a full view of the obviously bite marked shaped bruises on my thighs. I just kept talking about work and hoped she wouldn't judge me.
Shit my boyfriend's roommate thinks thinks: I love getting woken up to the sound of my roommate getting a blowjob
You yell at me for giving you beer but not for licking spilled beer off your chest.
The magician guy on probation is here at the bar. I'm gonna get him to show me a trick
She blew me while I watched the jets game and the hardest thing was deciding what to focus on more
I might be a bit longer... I found a hot guy at the grocery store, so I'm following him and buying stuff that he's buying
I puked on someone's floor last night and then they proceeded to ask me on a date.
I told him he had to put his dick inside of me at approx 1159 to ensure it was birthday sex. i was 19 when he entered me.. came out 20. winning.
Randomize
