i feel like i'm waiting in line to date brett michaels
Not only do prius' look terrible they are terrible to have sex in
I wonder why dictionaries dont have indexes to help find the words easier.
I woke up with ten beers in my bag that hoarded at the party last night. Rally? Its five somewhere.
You can't like Harry Potter and Twilight. You have to pick. Vampires and Wizards are mutually exclusive.
there's nothing like that first "just failed out of my program" beer
I drove to my yoga class while eating a piece of bacon. Wow. I see myself in a whole new light.
I was going to call you an awful person for that. but then i realized we're both awful people.
Really* awful people.
I couldn't help thinking that my sock monkey was judging me
It was over as soon as he asked if he could name my vagina pancake.
Just found the last picture of me as a virgin. Framed it.
Showing up to Easter hungover, late, and covered in black an blues from pole dancing. Daughter of the year.
I can't feel the bottom half of my face but i feel like our sex would be amazing
Feel weird saying this on Facebook, but a dildo collecting demigod sounds like somebody I'd at least hang with for a minute.
Do you think Root Touch Up or Just for Men would work better on pubes?
Randomize
