it's gonna be a chat room kind of night
Have you ever noticed how boring internet porn is after you cum? I can't shut my computer fast enough.
Eating in charleston sc at a seafood place called "hymans". Like normal I had no problem finding it.
You love me.
That's because, tragically, I adore whores.
Just realized I have to keep sleeping with him... those scars from drunk sex on the 4th of July are still on my back and lord knows I'm not about to explain that to another guy.
and then he started using my ass as a stressball
she kept asking for a lobster dinner while she was crying. it was actually the most reasonable drunk chick request i've ever heard.
And drunk me decided to play keep away with sober me's dignity
2nd year in a row being a arrested before school starts...tradition at its finest
i found out she really is a mensa member
so she was the smartest passed out on the floor hair encrusted in vomit girl at the party
Dude. I tried to hide my drunk wounds from my parents. Response: "we were young once" and "oh god, did I raise a drunk?"
You are beyond drunk wounds. You have drunk battle scars. A true veteran of the sidewalk
Six words: 3rd Degree Burn On My Dick
I told him I wanted to get on him and ride him to Montana. It didnt end like i thought it would.
so it turns out that when you ride the subway drunk at 5 am you wake up with a sailor in your bed
How high are you rn
Well I just ate a cheesecake straight from the box with a fork and now I’m laying upside down in a recliner chair seeing if I can Uber eats Doritos
So not that high
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