I dont like him- his parents were home and he hid me in his closet like anne frank
The Worst (noun)- 1. Getting up at 6am after a night of drinking. 2. Wearing a Peter Rabbit costume.
i think i have two assholes
i was trying to find the best way to say come over and have sex, without saying it.
Packing up everything in the dorm. Silly bands to unused condom ratio is ridiculous.
i think i made a good impression on his friends wen i survived 55 cup beer pong
I don't want to have to force feed him my vagina!!
If I die tonight and was cremated, you could probably get high off the smoke.
We don't watch enough power rangers
im far more worried about your salsa intake than your weed intake
You can trust me. I'm unemployed and not wearing pants.
After we had sex he went to the kitchen, came back with a bag of funyuns and ate them buck ass naked in his bedroom doorway. Had no idea how to react to that one.
I just fucked her boyfriend. Happy birthday, bitch.
So, I'm roughly 90% sure that the guy next to me in the xray waiting room is watching porn on his phone right now
So what if is hockey, you don’t turn down sex with a professional athlete. They work out all day and have amazing stamina. Your vagina will thank you!
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