You discussed the Arab/Israeli conflict with the guy behind the counter at the Kebab shop telling him you supported his people. He was clearly Asian.
How long is it safe to eat only Hot Pockets and Popsicles?
My complete lack of self respect has really improved my blow job technique
I fell alseep but then some dude picked me up. Comforter and all stuck a blunt in my mouth and carried me back downstairs because "I wasn't done partying"
One of my other friends found me and the dog in the back seat of this one guy's car....I don't even know
2nd semester senior, always drunk. at this point if i don't get a good parking spot, i turn around and drive home
I'll come out for a little. I can't be visibly hungover at work again or I get written up and fired. And yes, I am aware of how alcoholic that sounds.
I would makeout with my roommate, but im not drunk enough and she doesnt like bacon fat
But you've got to admit , for how blackout I was I look fucking unreal in those pictures
I just discovered I can sober up while teaching class
I knew it was a bad night when the only thing I could remember was you force feeding me tortilla chips as I hugged the tire of my car and begged to have my stomach pumped.
Oh I see how it is...you can snap chat the world your balls but I wear dinosaur feetie pajamas and I'm the "weird one"
I feel like a drive thru vagina
Okay I'm officially a Texan now, I banged a dude with cowboy boots
I just had to ask my drug dealer to "keep it simple for me". Is this a new low?
We've done worse things
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