Funny, my mom didn't get it when I said 'that's what she said' after she said 'it's so thick, it's impossible' in reference to my milkshake
Just got kicked out of the ocean for being "unsafe".
I want to fuck you on the side of the bed tonight.
babe, don't say it like that!
I'm sorry, I want to penetrate you on the edge of our sleeping quarters this evening.
No, he will live forever, like cockroaches and Jack Bauer.
never thought i'd see a ''climb of shame'' until she came down from the attic in front of the whole party..
Just a heads up: The party is Fourth of July themed. Spread the word
dude its may
Work with me here, man.
do you wanna get some fucking pussy tonight.....THEN DRESS LIKE IT
there may or may not be knives in your bed. I would check
I want to do something romantic. Like gargle champagne before I put your dick in my mouth.
And if I hated you I'd probably say things like, "I never want to speak to you again," or, "Eat a bag of dicks." That's how you'd know.
This is like the best thing that's ever happened to us. We're getting paid to sit around get high and eat. There is a Jesus
I have really important information for you regarding the furry convention this weekend
Would you still love me and fuck me doggie style if I had a dinosaur tramp stamp?
Knowing that porn stars want to fall in love is the weirdest thing I've found to be beautiful recently. I'm so lonely.
I just woke up on the floor with an empty handle in one hand and a piece of my ceiling in the other. #classy
Randomize
