dude, she has braces
i meant the dude w the ponytail.
i was less creeped out when i thought you were talking about the 14 y.o.
you kept yelling something about watching the muppets chirstmas carol and trying to turn the t.v. on with your car keys
Her vagina was like a man-sized safe.
I love my grandma, but if I have to sit and watch one more show on Bravo, I'm gonna burn her fuckin house to the ground
Yeah like at least with a penis what you see is what you get with a vagina there can always be a surprise inside
I cant prove it..but im almost positive that you were just outside my window watching me while eating out of a bag of Cheetos...
Someone just bought me a one liter long island and call me maybe is on. I'm going to die
We just took back to back grav bong hits and are playing battleship. She guessed Z - 12 so weve switched board games.
Sex obviously provides more sustenance than oatmeal.
Her weave came out on the dance floor. She was twerking and shaking one minute and her hair flew across the dance floor the next. Great way to be introduced to the family
He kept squeezing my butt and telling me how smart I was
Sorry for drunkely attacking your best friend with a bow and arrow then loudly crying myself to sleep....PMS?
I'm starting to think my emotional health is declining because I was watching transformers today and legit almost started crying
My fuck it list is complete! I finally got a firefighter!
He told us when he was 10 he started shoving bars of soap up his ass for pleasure so i winked at him
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