dude u gotta turn down the techno when u bang that chick its creepy
Say something about gay babies.
this crazy girl in up in Dennys is going crazy because Bob Saget just texted her.
Finished drinking tea out of a red party cup when I was done I flipped it without even thinking
The a/c is broken so they cut a softball size whole in the freezer door. Goodbye deposit.
people came up our fire escape and one had a cut on his leg and he was beautiful so i told him i was an emt and bandaged it with princess bandaids
I also just told a guy I was available for counseling in case he needed to 'bang' things out. I've become a monster.
So... crashing at the hot bartender's place is not a solid marital decision.
You now have the mental image of me flying off into the sunset with no pants
lesson learned. Never drop acid before a trip to the aquarium. Sounds awesome, is actually terrifying.
Tom just texted me he's Tindering from his hospital bed while they're running heart tests on him.
That's dedication to the game.
You can get gift cards to the liquor store! This changes everything.
I licked your asshole in confidence.
Can't we just go back to fucking and having your boyfriend think you're completely straight?
he was the first penis i touched… i have to go to his shitty bands first gig, i mean come on now
Randomize
