is it bad that the economy has gotten so bad that finding cheap gas gives me the same excitement and joy as finding a hot, blonde haired, blue eyed, tall, athletic single straight guy?
Do you think most people who work at an airport Chili's can pin point where their lives went wrong?
I'm not going to fuck him in his Honda Fit. That's gay.
Judging by her face, I'd say she's at least dabbled with meth...
I never thought that taking apart multiple age 5 and under puzzles would be part of my house party clean up process.
Yeah, sorry about that. I just couldn't stop.
I don't think the car's salesman understands that I am about to vomit on him.
You kept running up to random groups of people and saying "I'm a Dallas Cowboy Cheerleader so we all have to chug our drinks!" and they all listened to you.
Maybe STDs were invented to keep stupid people from having kids.
Yeahhh, everybody is so helpful when a pretty girl is crying hysterically and has only one shoe and a six pack.
I was scared I had HIV after last time so I'm not gonna do it again
But he was really hot
Glad you don't have HIV
Wednesday is my day of reflection and making my dick and balls into shapes. So i'll be pretty busy.
dude, we need a reunion soon, my vagina needs a deep massage. The kitty is ready to play
I got propositioned to get involved with an engaged couple. I told them I didn't think my married couple would like me to see other couples...
Sorry about the Christmas balls dude. At the time I thought they were festive as fk but I see now I've just spent too much time on the internet
Stories. There's stories.
MEGHAN YOU'VE BEEN THERE FOR 20 MINUTES
Randomize
