his personality makes his face look like an asshole.
He had an itunes playlist named "def not Glee season 1" which contained all of Glee season 1
There is no excuse for watching a Jesse McCartney movie.
Reggie can tackle my bush.
I just walked in on my roommates playing baseball with old vegetables and a bigass knife.
I just banged that chick from the bar by speaking french. all i had to do was recite my grocery list
Turns out my drunken logic and wordsmithing isn't quite the same as the sober version. I'm pretty sure I made fun of the managers mom at one point
I take your lack of response to mean that your hands are taped to 40 ounces of something.
I maybe late, he's in a peeing contest with the neighbor's dog. Currently he's in the lead.
I just took my birth control with a water bottle I found in my purse with vodka in it in Spanish class. 10am is still too early for me.
Most of the bar is playing trivia I'm playing destroy a relationship in twenty questions
The hypnotist is here. He has a black eye and smells like tequila.
Blowing a married man is so much more important than a 12 year olds basketball game.
Somehow you're a lightweight AND an alcoholic. Rare combo in one person. Well done.
I don't think anything is more terrifying than the thought that you might shit your pants in front of your boss
Randomize
