Mr ***** is in bed with his super hot wife giving her 18 inches of pleasure
So i told my advisor i had to drop the class bc the prof said "supposably" and "irregardless" within the 1st 10 minutes of the 1st class; she agreed with me that dropping it was the best choice
we banged on the home plate. i wasnt even aware of the significance of where we were until afterwards hahaha
You bit the bartender when he refused to poor rum in your purse and hand you a straw.
I am literally sitting on the toilet in utter disbelieve that last night even happened. My god that was only Monday.
i need to start using my dry humping skills. i was dry humping champion in 7th grade
Did you Fuck minivan and her friend last night?
I wish there were birth control emojis
Your CAR. Is in a LAKE. I'd say "a big mess" is a pretty conservative description of the situation.
i would compare it to sliding down a velcro-covered fireman's pole naked. no more bearded men for me.
I woke up with my wool blanket soaking wet on the dorm room floor, and my sweatshirt hanging on the shower door down the hall. So basically my camp-out-in-the-bathroom idea didn't turn out as planned
I found my grandmother's vibrator, how was your day?
Don't drag this out. All I need to know is if I have to put pants on or not.
Can you explain the Transformers set up for battle in my living room?
I gave him breakup sex, AGAIN
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