Someone sent me a drink from across the bar. It was water.
her facebook's as public as her vagina
he asked me to lick his asshole and I told him his girlfriend could do that for him
He insisted he brought his alarm clock everywhere, and then the girl screamed "fuck French people!"
I know he is still a student. I am not asking if his being an underwear model makes it more ethical, just less prosocutable.
Apparently being drunk on a southwest flight and yelling "TURNUP" during take off is looked down upon in this state.
You don't know how emotionally damaged I am from crashing into that park maintenance van. I'll never ride a bike because of it.
She really has to stop the coke at some point. Won't she run out of money eventually?
Won't she run out of nose eventually?
Wait do you remember that guy last night asking to use my nose ring to open his beer.......
I think there's a problem with society when I'm shopping for lingerie and I think "man some of these would make kickass shirts"
Rigtt?!
I'M CUDDLING WITH MY CAT AND THAT GUY SENT ME A DICK PIC. UNANNOUNCED DICK PICS ARE TERRIFYING AND MY CAT WILL NEVER BE THE SAME
So I just went to clothing optional bar
I'm still alive btw, in case you were worried about my well being.
He passed out before we could have sex. I had no choice but to use his boner to hold my onion rings.
where are you?
two trains and a bus walk of shame. so not worth it.
Randomize
