Viking lives by an ancient code of honor that we do not understand.
What code could that possibly be? Bothering the fucking shit out of people while being physically repulsive?
I have had sex with more partners than how old he is.
The Redheads category on Pornhub is my number 2 site behind facebook on google chrome. I think I have a problem
he started yelling "squirt for me" then his girlfriend knocked on the door and told us to keep it down
i'm not really understanding how she couldn't figure out it was him
YouTube is recomending me a video on how to make a home made meth bong, what has my life come to?
The pride tent is doing free lube tastings. There is also a mechanical bull.
So I passed out with my boxers on in the hotel jacuzzi at 5am.. The manager who kicked me out was pretty cute so I left my name and number for her at the front desk. I'm giving it a 50/50 she calls.
Tough to be a good wingman when you puke on yourself and everyone w/in a 5 ft radius at the FIRST bar we go to so don't tell me to step my game up
This is why I can't have Wednesdays.... Or adult decisions.
Jelly. This is your "are you still alive" text. Any response will do.
Hey I found a cat!
So while you were living in this woman's apartment, you acquired a room mate, fucked her daughter, and killed her bunny. Worst sitter ever
Yeah, reverse cow girl. She was on top and I was playing Flappy Bird behind her back. Easiest way to have angry sex.
Why is the floor coated in a 2 inch blanket of popcorn??
I'm sorry for peeing on you last night. Will cookies make up for it?
Want to help me interview candidates to replace my Cub/Boy Toy when he leaves for grad school next month?
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