so looking at the guys i've dated i feel my vag is a halfway house
I would give away a ton of these clothes but I doubt there are any homeless people who dress as slutty as me
Great, now justin bieber is gonna sing a song about chile
My porch is a mess of peanut butter and tostitos...thanks for that.
Please know that I fully expect you to help me steal a bed if I have a bad breakup.
Piecing together the sordid story from witness accounts and photographic evidence, courtesy of Fcebook. My night included Mojitos, lighting the bar on fire and declaring myself the Queen of Nerds when I stole someone's flashing tiara. Woke up this morning with a velvet cape and plastic scepter to match. Mojitos are awesome!
Well the streets were closed, so it was okay for me to just lay down for a little bit.
I hope it's socially acceptable to wear a mesh one piece into last call tonight?
He was dressed as a cowboy and he was dancing with my ex roommate. So I took his gun and pistol whipped him with it..then somehow we still slept together..
I am going to buy some m-80's and keep a bucket of them in the bathroom. That way I can just depth charge the toilet before each time I use it. Lets see how those snakes like cheap Chinese explosives
I'm not into beards but apparently my vagina is.
You just sat there staring at your apple and saying "I'm so glad you're here" to it every time you took a bite.
I never thought I'd say this but there's too many dicks around here.
I took it as a sign from the lord above that she wanted me to creep on these men.
Adulthood is putting your bongs in the dishwasher because you're too lazy to clean them manually.
Are you ok dude?
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