you're like the ceasar milan of boners... you understand them on a different level.
im officially scared..,i finally realized who my boyfriend reminds me of! spencer pratt
You stuck the head of a rubber chicken you found in her house up your ass and then started running around her living room. Naked.
so my dad walked in on us having sex
lulz really? why?
lets just say he wont be answering to 'daddy' for a loooooong time
I asked her to make me water, which in turn meant get me a glass. She handed me a cup of microwaved ice cubes.
You screamed "there will be blood" and punched some random guy in the face. So no, we can't go back to that bar.
I've blown him while he hit my bong, I've blown him while he played video games and now I'm looking for a new challenge. Don't even try suggesting a blumpkin.
Lmfao. We asked what you wanted to eat and you said vagina. I don't care what kind. Fresh, barbecue, roasted on a camp fire. I just want it on my taste buds.
I don't care if we're married you can't just walk into the bedroom with a pizza box expecting to get laid
and it's like......my shirt is off and he's talking about quidditch. why.
I may be a complete scumbag but even im not willing to spend a grand and sit on a plane for 24 hours just for shrooms and a blowjob
I was very impressed with his ability to carry on a conversation with his friends sitting in the front seat with his hand in my pants, getting a hand job, stoned, with a cigarette in his mouth. I think he's a keeper.
I tied him up for his boyfriend so he could get fisted... I'm the best roommate ever.
Wow. That's certainly more than I've ever done for a roommate.
what color bed sheets say meditative warrior but also welcome to my sex dungeon...
navy blue
The fact that you have an answer to that is why we are friends...
GOD I WOULD STAB DANNY IN THE EYE WITH HIS OWN PENIS
.........That big, huh?
No. I would cut it off
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