Just saw an Asian kid crash into the bike rack with his bike. I love sitting outside the engineering building.
I woke up with ten beers in my bag that hoarded at the party last night. Rally? Its five somewhere.
this episode of spongebob makes me wish crabby patties were real
Just mixed vicodin and mucinex. This cold just got fun.
I was just "that girl you seen blowing some dude outside when you drove by"
I think the taxi driver just requested me on facebook..... his name was george right?
I got kicked out of a mexican restaurant last night for being too drunk. This is getting dangerously close to rock bottom
I'm gonna need a helmet and adult supervision by 9...
because of daylight savings time I lost an hour of sex with an incredibly hot guy last night. thanks a lot farmers.
After getting kicked out of the bar, you proceeded to McDonald's, ordered 30 nuggets, slammed them all back in 5 minutes and then stole 3 traffic cones...how you only got charged with drunk in public is beyond me.
After an hour of searching for my pants, we had three people looking. They were finally found in the oven.
I didn't know how to commemorate his death, so I snorted a fat line off of his obituary. Rest in peace.
I hope you know, that by sending me a cat meme back, you've entered in a cat picture battle; which never has an end in sight.
The duel has begun.
You were so drunk last night that you fell thru the bathroom door at the bar, ripping it off the hinges in the process. But, your birthday tiara stayed on thru the whole thing. I'd call it a succcessful evening. Happy birthday kiddo!
I feel like he doesn't realize we're offering him a threeway with sisters and I don't understand how that's possible.
Maybe we should bring mom next time.
Randomize
