Someone's got a whale tail
A thong is hangin out?
No, a fatty following them
My boobs aren't big enough for this kind of lifestyle
I have a love/hate relationship when men come within a 10 minute time frame.
you know what sucks? talking to chicks you dont want to have sex with
We decided to have a girls night of four lokos, three of us cried and the other puked
I miss your penis. I'm telling you this as a friend, like its just a really great penis. You should be proud of it.
Haga you didnt jbsii whee wu an therer
Party on wayne
I knew it would get worse when I said I think your roommate is watching and he looked over at him and said ... So?
I'm not so good at organized events that don't revolve around whiskey or playgrounds.
I'm doing blow on my fuzzy rug
Come join me
This is the guy I made out with and it made me think of my dad. Let's never talk about it again.
The only monogamous relationship I can keep is with my eyebrow lady...
I'm still a bit day drunk and decided to go for a run. You may get a snapchat of me vomiting soon
Today is going to be a great day. He just brought me a donut on his dick... It's Sticky Dick Donut Day!!!
Why is there a condom in my ukulele?
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